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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26434627">Hope this finds you well</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsCFH/pseuds/MsCFH'>MsCFH</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Corporate AU [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:21:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>41,826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26434627</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsCFH/pseuds/MsCFH</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It begins by chance: Four months after they broke up, Margaery is mistakenly put in copy to one of Sansa's emails.  With plenty of things unsaid and unsolved between them all it takes are a few brief exchanges before they find themselves engaged in a conversation, that might turn out to be the most honest one they had in a long time. </p><p>Prelude to "A Vision in White".</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sansa Stark/Margaery Tyrell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Corporate AU [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1348375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story was inspired by the books of Daniel Glattauer "Love Virtually" and "Every Seventh Wave". I borrowed some quotes from both books here, but will be overall following a different plot. Also, I can can only encourage you all to read the books. It's a beautiful lovestory. </p><p>For the timeline of the Corporate AU, this starts out plays roughly one and a half years before "A Vision in White". My brain does not seem to function in chronological order with this series, but I hope that this story will already answer some of the questions you had as to why our girls broke up in the first place.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:45 PM<br/>
Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>As this is none of my concern, I kindly ask you take me out of this thread.</p><p>Thanks, </p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark</strong>
  
  <strong>03:03 PM<br/>
</strong>
  <strong>Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>Apologies. You must have been put in copy by accident.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:06 PM<br/>
Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>I figured.</p><p>And what about you? In copy by accident too?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark</strong>
  
  <strong>03:07 PM<br/>
</strong>
  <strong>Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>Actually, no.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:19 PM<br/>
Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>I figured that too.</p><p>Convenient.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark</strong>
  
  <strong>03:23 PM<br/>
</strong>
  <strong>Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>If there is something on your mind, please say it.</p><p>I have been asked to return as project manager after Baelish has been let go. Robb wanted someone with insight in charge. And as you are aware, I’ve always kept an eye over what was going on.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:25 PM<br/>
Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>I can only repeat myself. Convenient.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark</strong>
  
  <strong>03:26 PM<br/>
</strong>
  <strong>Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>Please, save the accusatory tone.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:30 PM<br/>
Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>Is that what I “sound” like?</p><p>That tone is something that is something that is completely up to your own imagination. All I have offered were neutral words. No italics, no emojis, nothing that would suggest otherwise.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark</strong>
  
  <strong>03:50 PM<br/>
</strong>
  <strong>Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>I know you well enough to not need either.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:51 PM<br/>
Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>You know me so well, dear.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-  </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:22 AM<br/>
Re: Revenue Report Q4</strong>
</p><p>What? No biting return?<br/>
You disappoint me, Sansa.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:34 AM<br/>
What's on my mind</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>Let me start by apologizing in advance should this sound once again accusatory to you. I promise that is not my intention.</p><p>Here is what is on my mind: It upsets me. Three years ago we made the joined decision (initiated by yourself, if I recall correctly) to both withdraw from the merge, because it was a conflict of interest due to our relationship. I can see why one might suppose that conflict of interest dissolved (hence said relationship no longer being a factor), but it isn’t, not for me at least.</p><p>Thank you for your consideration.</p><p>M.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><strong>Sansa Stark</strong><strong>01:53 PM</strong><strong><br/>
Re: What's on my mind<br/>
<br/>
</strong>Care to elaborate on why you think so?<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:08 PM<br/>
Re: What's on my mind</strong>
</p><p>I would expect it to be self-explanatory. But apparently that isn’t the case?</p><p>Fine.</p><p>You have no right to supervise the merge, as little as you did three years ago. This merge would not exist without my initiative, without months’ worth of work that I poured into it. That you do take control of it, less than four months after our separation, is of bad taste. And frankly hurtful.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark</strong>
  
  <strong>10:31 PM</strong>
  <strong><br/>
Re: What's on my mind</strong>
</p><p>Margaery,</p><p>If you want supervision of the merge, I’d be happy to hand it over to you. You are right when you say that after all the work you poured into it should be yours, if anyone’s. I have no problem withdrawing.</p><p>It was merely a practical decision to put me -temporarily, by the way- in charge.</p><p>If you want it, just say the word and it will be all yours.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>PS: It was never my intention to hurt you. I want to be done hurting you.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:55 PM<br/>
Re: What's on my mind</strong><br/>
<br/>
Dear Sansa,</p><p>I don’t want it.</p><p>Please don’t take this as me playing games. I promise you that it isn’t.</p><p>Just the thought of you using us splitting up, as something to advantage control over something business-related… that would have been unbearable.</p><p>(Not that things aren’t already unbearable.)</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><strong>Sansa Stark                             05:30 PM<br/>
FYI<br/>
<br/>
</strong>Dear Margaery,</p><p>I hope this finds you well.</p><p>This is just to inform you that I have officially -and permanently- withdrawn from the merge.</p><p>All my best.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:15 PM<br/>
Re: FYI</strong>
</p><p>Thank you.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p><strong>Sansa Stark                             09:16 PM<br/>
Re: FYI</strong><br/>
<br/>
You are welcome.</p><p>Please tell me you were not still working at this hour?<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:18 PM<br/>
Re: FYI</strong>
</p><p>I was as a matter of fact. A necessary exemption.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><strong>Sansa Stark                             09:19 PM<br/>
Re: FYI</strong><br/>
<br/>
I hope there aren’t too many of those.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:23 PM<br/>
Re: FYI</strong>
</p><p>There aren’t. A conference call with Mereen that could not be postponed. I took this morning off for balance.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:24 PM<br/>
Re: FYI</strong>
</p><p>I’m glad to hear so.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:45 PM<br/>
Truth</strong><br/>
<br/>
Want to hear the truth, Sansa? I miss the times when I would be working into the late night. Work was always my distraction, my safe haven, my coping mechanism when things weren’t going well.</p><p>(For what it is worth: Not working right now.)</p><p>
  
</p><p><strong>Sansa Stark                             09:55 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong><br/>
<br/>
Dear Margaery,</p><p>I feel obligated to ask why things aren’t going well, but I guess that would be inappropriate coming from me.</p><p>So let me focus on what seems more appropriate: Am I supposed to believe that you are not working? Why else would you be sending emails from your work account this late?<br/>
<br/>
- Sansa<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:56 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Why are you?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:03 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>I am using the graphics department’s equipment to print the invitations for mom’s birthday party.</p><p>
  
</p><p><strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:04 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong><br/>
<br/>
Private use of company equipment? I am appalled, Ms. Stark.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:12 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>I know. No one is more disappointed in my lack of principles than myself.</p><p>In my defence: The printing shop I commissioned, completely botched the job.</p><p>Now, what’s your excuse?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:13 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Please don’t tell me you went back to the one in the town centre.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:15 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>The slow learner I am, I did.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:16 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>How that shop manages to stay in business is beyond me.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:17 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Are you avoiding giving me an answer, Margaery?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:20 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Maybe.</p><p>Though not for the reasons you think. I have not gone back full workaholic, if that eases your mind.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:23 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Ambiguities are not the way to ease my mind. You should know that.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:24 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>I am not sure if the truth is either.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:24 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Try me.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:26 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>I’ve just come back home from drinks with Ellinor, and that last glass of wine has wavered my determination not to reply to you, to just leave our conversation as what it is, significantly.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:27 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Believe it or not, that sits tons better with me, than you falling back into old patterns of working late into the night.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:28 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>I don’t know if it sits better with me. If it still will tomorrow.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:30 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Then perhaps you should go to bed. Sleep it off, and see how you feel tomorrow about continuing this conversation.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:31 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>How do you feel about it?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:35 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>I think it’s nice. Talking to you again.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:35 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Nice?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:36 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>Yes, nice.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:42 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>I’m going to bed now. You are right, I need to sleep on how I feel about this conversation. (On how I feel about “nice”.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:55 PM<br/>
Re: Truth</strong>
</p><p>I am sorry if my choice of phrasing upset you, that wasn’t my intention.</p><p>Sleep well, Margaery.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-three days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:20 AM<br/>
“Nice”</strong>
</p><p>Margaery,</p><p>I haven’t heard from you and I suppose that you have reached your conclusion on how you feel about talking to me -about “nice”- now that the Dornish Red has lost its grip on you. If that is the case, then feel free to ignore this, I understand, and won’t bother you again if you don’t reply.</p><p>Now, for better or worse, here is what I meant by “nice”. It was nice to read your name in my inbox. It was nice to see a notification about a message from you pop up on my screen. It was nice to read your -even most passive aggressive- words. It was nice to imagine you taking the time to hack those most biting phrases down into your keyboard.</p><p>It was -<em>is</em>- nice to know that I am still the person you want to contact after one too many glasses of wine.</p><p>So, yes. For the lack of better adjectives, for the fear of using other adjectives, for too many other adjectives, for my inability to find the right adjectives -nice.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:49 PM<br/>
Re: “Nice”</strong>
</p><p>What other adjectives did you have in mind?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:32 PM<br/>
Re: “Nice”</strong>
</p><p>In no particular order and or valuation:</p><p>Comfortable. Rejoicing. Depressing. Surprising. Lonely. Obstinate. Worrying. Thrilling. Relieving. Titillating. Scary. Sobering. Infuriating. Tense. Confusing.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:33 PM<br/>
Re: “Nice”</strong>
</p><p>Titillating?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:35 PM<br/>
Re: “Nice”</strong>
</p><p>Fifteen words and that is the one you want to focus on?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:40 PM<br/>
Re: “Nice”</strong>
</p><p>Oh no worries, I want clarification on most of those (“confusing” – what exactly confused you? “lonely” –why do you feel lonely talking to me? “scary” – what part of our conversation scared you?...) but you cannot blame me that that “titillating” caught my eye.</p><p>And I think you knew that when you wrote it down.</p><p>How often did you delete it before you decided to leave it in?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:12 PM<br/>
Re: “Nice”</strong>
</p><p>It is confusing to talk to you, whom I -for better or worse- know in and out, with such an impenetrable distance. I can’t talk to you how I used to, can’t use the phrases and words I used to and am at a loss what to use instead.</p><p>Lonely for the very same reason. When I read your written words, I imaging you saying them, I hear your voice in my head, see your face before my inner eye. For a moment, I get a sense that you are here with me, and when I realise your not, I feel lonely.</p><p>I am scared for more reasons than I can, or care to name.</p><p>And as for what seems to be your favourite adjective: I deleted it a good ten times, before leaving it in. And it’s one particular phrase you used, two words. I’ll leave that for you to figure out. I suspect you already know.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:25 PM<br/>
Re: “Nice”</strong>
</p><p>I think I will forgo asking for a clarification on the remaining adjectives. Just one question, before I shut down my computer: (Going home on time – I hope that eases your mind.)</p><p>“Nice” is a generally positively afflicted as a word, yet in your list I only come to a count of five positive adjectives (six if I count surprising) vs. ten negatives. Are you sure you want to settle on “nice”?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:28 PM<br/>
Re: “Nice”</strong>
</p><p>You leave all fifteen words positively afflicted.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-three days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:30 AM<br/>
How are you?</strong>
</p><p>Margaery,</p><p>I cannot say I care for this new dynamic where you abandon a conversation and leave it to me to pick it back up. For now, I will continue to do so for as long as my pride allows it, or until you tell me to stop – whichever comes first.</p><p>How have you been?</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:24 PM<br/>
Greetings from Starfall</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>It is nice to hear from you. I did not want you to feel obligated to write to me. Those past few days have simply been too stressful to do so. (Keep off your alarm bells at the term “stressful”, please.) I am doing well, when I say stress I mean the healthy kind, all socially inflicted, which was what I needed more than I realised. Hence, my quietness these last couple of days. Not a measure to test your pride or patience, but simply me, not taking on more than I can handle at once.</p><p>You, talking to you, is a lot to handle for me. It flatters me when you say that all thoughts you have towards me are always positively afflicted, unfortunately I cannot say the same.</p><p>Sending you greetings (from in between the stress that Loras calls spa vacation) and hope you are doing good.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:56 PM<br/>
Re: Greetings from Starfall</strong>
</p><p>Margaery,</p><p>Thank you for getting back to me. I am glad to hear you are doing fine. Here is hoping that you get some relaxation out of Loras’ version of a spa vacation after all.</p><p>By no means was it my intention to disrupt your deserved relaxation time. Please turn off your work phone / computer.</p><p>Just allow me this one clarification: I said that all those fifteen words are more positive than negative afflicted, that does not mean the same goes for all my thoughts and feelings in talking to you.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:20 PM<br/>
Re: Greetings from Starfall</strong>
</p><p>Thank you for that clarification, Sansa.</p><p>And thank you for your honesty in admitting that this conversation is not a walk in the park for you either.</p><p>It begs the question though, (that one of us has to ask eventually) what are we doing here? If this hurts the both of us, then why do we keep torturing ourselves?</p><p>We are broken up. We have drawn the line in real life, shouldn’t drawing one in a virtual conversation be a consequential step?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:55 PM<br/>
Re: Greetings from Starfall</strong>
</p><p>If that’s what you want.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:56 PM<br/>
Re: Greetings from Starfall</strong>
</p><p>What do you want?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:40 PM<br/>
Should have known better</strong>
</p><p>That was the worst question to ask you, wasn’t it?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:56<br/>
Re: Should have known better</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Margaery,</p><p>It wasn’t the worst question. Just not the easiest to answer.</p><p>No, I don’t want to stop talking to you. I never did. Only the problem remains, that we seem to have reached a point where everything is said. I don’t think there is anything new we could tell each other. Not about each other, not about our break-up or even our lives.</p><p>Margaery, my answer is a really simple one: I want to keep talking to you, but only if it is something you want to.</p><p>Before you go on, going off on me for dodging this responsibility to you, I want to say that the fact remains that your mental health continues to be in a more fragile state than mine. I am not saying this to hurt you, I have no intention of putting any blame on you, but you have been through a lot in the last year, and anything else, me making a decision for you, would be deeply selfish. Something I am afraid we have seen enough of.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:40 AM<br/>
Re: Should have known better</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>You are right. (Aren’t those words you’ve waited forever for?) Everything is said, has been for months now, maybe even longer. I don’t have anything new to tell you either, at least not about what happened. Not about what you said, or what I said. I don’t feel like chewing on stuff that we’ve been through and spit out several times already, only the thought leaves a bad taste in my mouth, gives me a rush of pure anxiety.</p><p>However… what’s stronger than that, what makes me even more anxious is the idea of ending this conversation. You said it was “nice” to see my name in your inbox again, to see my written words, to have notifications pop up about new messages from me, and even though “nice” isn’t the word I would be using, I think I can relate to what you mean.</p><p>It’s not the easiest thing to admit, but after our separation, I’ve found myself in this state of relief. I am not saying this to hurt you, but you know what those last couple of months were exhausting. And then you were gone, and with you all the struggle, the discussions… and suddenly I felt that I could breathe again? Those last months were hard on me (on both of us) and afterwards it felt like this immense weight had been lifted off me. The sole problem turned out to be, that it had been there for so long, I didn’t even know how to function without it. I was like a prisoner, released from confinement and unable to handle all this freedom.</p><p>I’ve learned to deal, of course, I’ve adapted. (What other choice did I have?) I have had friends and family who showed me a purpose beyond you. I am not trying to be dramatic, but it is a simple truth when I say I had to learn to live without you.</p><p>I am not talking about big essential things, not only at least). I found the small stuff was overwhelming me. (Did I enjoy a show on Netflix because you liked it or because I liked it? Was that restaurant really my favourite, or was that just the case because you liked their food? … I could go on for a while with that.)</p><p>You were gone, the struggle was gone, and suddenly I had no one to blame it on when things were not going right, no one but myself.</p><p>Where am I going with this you wonder? (I am trying to go somewhere I promise.)</p><p>The bottom line is this, I don’t want to stop talking either.</p><p>After everything I’ve just said I must sound like a fool to you. That’s not it though. (I hope.) I think in order to function without you, I need to learn how to function for myself with you still there. Even if just virtually.</p><p>I hope this makes sense to you. I trust you to get it. (Who if not you?)</p><p>All the best,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:49 PM<br/>
Re: Should have known better</strong>
</p><p>Margaery,</p><p>It does make sense. I don’t have it in me to admit just how much, or to go in as much detail as you. Just this: It astonishes me of how much what you describe about the first time after our break-up aligns with my own experience.</p><p>My reasons for wanting to keep talking to you are a lot less ambitious than yours. I clearly cannot speak for you there -and am doing my very best not to make the attempt- but I don’t see talking to you as a measure of getting you out of my mind, learning to function without you as you put it, I see it for what it is – a selfish, deeply masochistic, and maybe a bit sadistic side of me that does not want to let go.</p><p>Now, knowing on how vastly different points we stand with our reasons, do you still think it is a good idea to keep talking?</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:55 PM<br/>
Re: Should have known better</strong>
</p><p>No, not really. But I never did in the first place. I am painfully aware how bad of an idea this is.</p><p>Also, I never expected your reasons to be anything else, but selfish, even when you were considerate of how I would handle an on-going conversation with you, it had more to do with you and how you want to perceive yourself than with me.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:03 PM<br/>
Re: Should have known better</strong>
</p><p>I cannot win with you, can I? You see me as selfish and no decision I make is going to change that. You have built your line of arguments around it. On the one hand you say this is a bad idea. On the other hand you say you need this contact in order to learn to function without me.</p><p>Which one is it now?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:05 PM<br/>
Re: Should have known better</strong>
</p><p>No, I suppose you can’t.</p><p>I have a massage booked now, which I suppose will be a wonderful way to get some of the tension this conversation has left me with out of my system.</p><p>I’ll write you tonight.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:10 PM<br/>
Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Good evening Sansa,</p><p>I’m guessing you are asleep by now. (Or has your nightly routine changed without me around? No reason to escape to bed early without arguments to avoid?)</p><p>It was a long day for me, with more relaxation than I can handle, so you’ll forgive me if I keep my answer short.</p><p>The bottom line is that you being a selfish, and me being an inconsequent mess do not go exclusive. It’s been our dynamic for too long already, impossible to keep out of this. (Whatever this is. Let’s save the labelling for another time.)</p><p>I hope this leaves us with clear fronts.</p><p>I will be rolling up in bed now, and let myself be lulled to sleep by a sitcom.</p><p>Good night. (Or, depending on when you read this, good day.)</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:13 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>You should set a sleep timer. You know that you will sleep bad if you keep the tv running.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:17 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Already set. 90 minutes to fall asleep. (And a little stressed by that time limit.)</p><p>I didn’t expect you to still be awake. Or online.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:18 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Set it to 3 hours then.</p><p>I can’t sleep.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:20 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>That just prolongs my stress.</p><p>Since when are you unable to sleep?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:21 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Then turn the TV off.</p><p>Since I have people emailing me at this hour.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:22 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>I don’t want to turn it off. I need some background noise to tune out my thoughts.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:25 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>That bad of a day?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:27 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Draining mainly. You know how too much relaxation can be for someone who’s as wired up as I am.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:30 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>I am sorry if I contributed to that.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:31 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>This I won’t blame you for, don’t worry.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:34 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>If it helps, you should  leave the TV on tonight, without any kind of timer.</p><p>What are you watching?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:34 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>That infomercial for the table grill. It’s leaving me a little hungry.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:36 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>No dinner?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:40 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>One that left me hungry. They are specialised in clean eating here. Even if I had been able to keep anything down, none of that food here would of qualified as saturating.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:41 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Just try to look out for yourself.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:42 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Don’t worry. I’ve done my fair share of stress eating. I have been living of junk food (yes, the non-vegan kind) for a couple of weeks. A bit of fasting now, is a good way to reset my metabolism.</p><p>Can you say the same for yourself? Knowing you, I’d suppose you’ve been reducing your own meals to 5 litres of tea and 2 crackers a day.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:45 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>And the occasional cigarette.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:46 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Are you serious?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:50 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Not entirely, no.</p><p>I have a family that is watching closely what I eat, how I do, if I shower, when I sleep. There has not been exactly a lot of time for any kind of pity parties.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:52 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Annoying isn’t it? A family that refuses to let you bathe your own misery?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:55 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>The worst.</p><p>But as annoying I find it for myself, it’s good to know you have someone watching out for you.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:58 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Yes, I agree on that.</p><p>I will try now to let this infomercial lull me to sleep (or sneak out for some fast food that will hopefully have the same effect).</p><p>Good night, Sansa.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:58 PM<br/>
Re: Good evening</strong>
</p><p>Good night, Margaery.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:40 AM<br/>
Re: Sleepless</strong>
</p><p>Hello Sansa,</p><p>Just writing to let you know that neither has worked. I have been out and found myself the greasiest burger this town has to offer (not that there was a particular wide selection at this time) and now there is an infomercial for a vegetable dicer on, where the presenters voice is way too aggressive to even let me think of sleep.</p><p>The mini bar (for the whole health thing they have going on here, astoundingly stocked with liquor of all kinds) is tempting right now, but I think I know I need to get through this with a clear mind.</p><p>M.<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:41 AM<br/>
Re: Sleepless</strong>
</p><p>Would you like to tell me what’s keeping you awake?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:42 AM<br/>
Re: Sleepless</strong>
</p><p>If you allow the question why you are still awake?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:44 AM<br/>
Re: Sleepless</strong>
</p><p>The notification sound woke me.</p><p>Do you want to tell me what happened? I may be a selfish bitch, but I am also an excellent listener.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:59 AM<br/>
Re: Sleepless</strong>
</p><p>I want to, but I don’t know if I should.</p><p>So what happened? Let me start with a question back at you: Sansa… have you been with anyone since we broke up?</p><p>Actually, no. Please don’t answer that. I should refrain from questions where the answer might kill me?</p><p>Anyway… I haven’t. I have not had physical contact with anyone that went beyond a hug. And then today, I don’t know, maybe it was touch deprivation, maybe it was really letting go, really relaxing. I was lying there, and the masseuse hit a point, (the one right at the base of my spine? the one where you always said all my tension goes to?) I cramped up and suddenly I couldn’t breathe, except of course I still could, because I was hyperventilating. It just felt like I couldn’t. I… it was a mess. I was a mess. I am a mess. Even now still.</p><p>Everybody told me how well I have been doing after we broke up. I thought I’d been doing well, and then there I was today, sitting buck naked on a massage table, fighting to breathe, with a stranger trying to cover me up for some kind of decency.</p><p>I am not good. I haven’t been good.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:05 AM<br/>
Re: Sleepless</strong>
</p><p>Margaery, the answer to the question you won’t ask wouldn’t kill you. For what it’s worth.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:09 AM<br/>
Re: Sleepless</strong>
</p><p>I’m lying here, trying to actively feel if that makes it better. And part of me hates to admit that it does. It really does. So… thank you, I guess.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:14 AM<br/>
Re: Sleepless</strong>
</p><p>It does not bode well for me, but it’s a relief, to know I am not the only one feeling miserable.</p><p>I don’t want you to hurt, Margaery. Only my own pain feels not quite as irrational knowing that you are still hurting too.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:07 AM<br/>
Feeling better?</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Margaery,</p><p>I am taking your silence those last two days as a sign that you are feeling better. Or are kept occupied by your brother thoroughly to be saved from late night musings.</p><p>Fortunately I have been. We are moving closer towards mom’s birthday. I am only working half days this week and still fear I have sixteen hour days ahead of me.</p><p>Hope you are doing well.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:55 AM<br/>
Re: Feeling better?</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>I am writing you this, cowered into the bathroom of the sauna. No worries, I am not in the middle of another breakdown. I’ve actually been doing quite good. (Even made it through a body peeling and a facial without further panic attacks, so there is that.)</p><p>So why am I shivering in a bathroom stall you wonder? Well, Loras has become watchful of the time I spent on my phone during our stay here (even more as it is my work phone) and therefore has decided to bestow me with a forced offline period. All well-meant intentions of course. I did not have it in me to tell him that the time spent on my phone was not work-related, because that would have prompted a conversation, well… let’s just say one I am too relaxed right now to have. (Too relaxed, too exhausted, same difference.) So here I am, feeling like a teenager that has been put on a phone ban, sneaking in some online time.</p><p>I will now slip my phone back into his locker and hope that all the naked athletes (we have a football team staying here in the hotel) will have him distracted enough to not notice it was ever gone.</p><p>I will write you again when I return next week. Here’s hoping you get to enjoy the party, after all the planning you put into it.</p><p>All my best,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:59 AM<br/>
Re: Feeling better?</strong>
</p><p>Glad to hear you are doing okay, Margaery.</p><p>Enjoy your days of forced relaxation and disconnection. It will probably do you good.</p><p>- Sansa<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-two days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:53 AM<br/>
Back at home</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>Reporting back from vacation and procrastinating the amount of work that has collected in my inbox, so I thought I’d use the chance to write to you before I dive head first back into it.</p><p>How are you? How was your mom’s birthday? I hope all your hard work paid off and that you could actually enjoy the party instead of buzzing around playing the hostess. (What am I saying, we both know that’s what you did, wasn’t it?)</p><p>The remains of the days here in Starfall was rather uneventful, but nice nonetheless. Outdoor yoga, long walks along the beach, going for a swim every morning and regaining my body temperature in the steam room or sauna afterwards. I was even enrolled in a tree seminar, that was a little to free-spirited even for my taste (hugging trees is where I draw the line as it turns out).</p><p>As you can imagine all those activities have left me with a lot of time to think. About a lot of things, but you, us, in particular.</p><p>I miss you, Sansa. (I’ve typed and deleted those words a good twenty times, at last now I think I will keep them in.)</p><p>I tried turning it back and forth, I tried to find other explanations for how I am feeling, what keeps me awake at night, what causes me to act irrational, but it comes down to this, again and again. I miss you. And I would like to see you.</p><p>Yours,</p><p>Margaery</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:48 PM<br/>
Two questions</strong>
</p><p>Hello Sansa,</p><p>Has my last message stunned you into silence?</p><p>If you are hoping for me to take anything I said back, I must disappoint you. In fact, your silence has not exactly made the part about the missing you better. (The opposite.) I find myself falling into daydreams about you showing up at my doorstep, even though the more rational side of my mind tells me that this is not the reason for your silence.</p><p>So I will be more direct this time around, just two simple yes or no questions for you:</p><p>Do you miss me?</p><p>Would you like to meet?</p><p>I’d appreciate a reply. Any reply. (No, not entirely true, but this silence is maddening.)</p><p>All my best,</p><p>Margaery</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             04:30 PM<br/>
Re: Two questions</strong>
</p><p>Margaery,</p><p>It was not my intention to torture you or punish you with silence. I sat down several times, writing paragraph after paragraph and deleting it again.</p><p>Two simple yes or no answers you said… these aren’t simple questions, Margaery. At least not for me, and it leaves me surprised that they appear to be for you. Nevertheless, I will do my best to give you an answer.</p><p>Do I miss you? –           I am doing my very best not to. I realise that is not the answer you were hoping for, but you must understand how painful missing you is for me. I am not a functioning human being when I am missing you. When I miss you all I do, all I see, all I think revolves around you; it consumes me.</p><p>Would I like to meet you? –        That falls in the same category as missing you. It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that I am concerned what will happen if I would. You occupy my mind to a large amount just reading your words on a screen. I if saw you in person, heard your voice, that would throw me back months emotionally.</p><p>Margaery, I have used those last couple of days to think too. And I need to bring back a question to you: If my answer had been yes, to both of your questions, what would you hope to be the result? What if I missed you? What if we met? What would be the best case scenario you are hoping for?</p><p>Sansa</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:34 PM<br/>
Re: Two questions</strong>
</p><p>Good evening Sansa,</p><p>Thank you for getting back to me.</p><p>You said it took you some time and several attempts to write this answer; I am wondering if you still have some of your other attempts saved, because <em>this</em>, my dear? Not your best work. A bunch of too thought out words when two simple “No” would have served the purpose.</p><p>What was that? An attempt to spare my feelings? Please do not bother. It’s within your right not missing me, and not wanting to meet me. My expectations in you were wrong. (It’s hardly the first time.)</p><p>What result I would be hoping for you ask? What best case scenario? Gee, I don’t know. Seeing you in person, talking to you in person, hearing your voice, seeing your eyes when we speak… But I don’t wish to be responsible for “throwing you back months emotionally”, so please forget I ever asked.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:49 PM<br/>
Re: Two questions</strong>
</p><p>I am sorry, if my words have upset you, Margaery.</p><p>Perhaps once you’ve calmed a little, you will re-read them and understand that my answer wasn’t “No”.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:20 PM<br/>
Re: Two questions</strong>
</p><p>See, if we sat face to face now, you could see that I am perfectly calm; however now you will have to take my word for it, when I tell you that I intend these next words without spite, without anger, or even sarcasm.</p><p>Have a nice evening, Sansa. I am turning off my computer for the weekend. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             04:34 PM<br/>
Re: Two questions</strong>
</p><p>Have a nice weekend, Margaery.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:34 PM<br/>
AUTO: Margaery Tyrell is out of office.</strong>
</p><p>I am out of office. Your message will not be forwarded or read.</p><p>In case of emergency please contact our service hotline.</p><p>For all other matters, I will get back to you upon my return.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-two days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:43 AM<br/>
You win</strong>
</p><p>You win.</p><p>Yes, I miss you.</p><p>Yes, I would like to see you.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:26 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>Enabling the recall function on messages is a foul move.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   08:26 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>…but an effective one.</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>I can’t say I know what to make out of your nightly messages. Were you drunk? But no, that’s not really you, is it? You’re too much in control for that. So what then? Lying awake at night, thinking about me? Pondering about our conversation? Also not something I can see you doing.</p><p>However the reason (and before I go on to the two main points) let me clarify one thing that does not sit right with me.</p><p>
  <em>“You win.”</em>
</p><p>It was never about winning, Sansa. And it saddens me that you got that impression, that this was how it feels to you. Going by that logic, admitting your feelings to me would mean it feels like losing?</p><p>Seeing past those two words… your message did put a smile on my face. Not just for the words, but for the time. There is something about those messages you receive in the small hours between midnight and morning. Even if I don’t know your reasons for it (and perhaps its better I don’t?) it’s nice to know that in those quiet, dark hours, I was on your mind.</p><p>I feel obligated to ask – do you mean it? Not so much the part about missing me, there was never much doubt about that in my mind to begin with.</p><p>Do you want to meet?</p><p>A good start into this week,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         09:50 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>You are right, Margaery. I was neither drunk, no lying awake at night. But it was not the quiet, dark hours you assumed either. Ygritte had dragged me out to open mic night, and when I wrote the message I was in a very loud, and very crowded pub, squeezed in between too many drunk and chatty people, and what can I say… I missed you. I wished for you to be there.</p><p>Do I want to meet you?              – Yes. With every fibre of my being, yes.</p><p>Do I think we should meet?        – No.</p><p>At least not, until we both have a very clear picture of what we would hope to achieve out of meeting each other. Otherwise I am worried, it will leave irredeemable damage.</p><p>Happy Monday to you as well.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   09:56 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>You have an ability to rise my mood and bring it down to an underground level like no one else within split seconds, do you know that?</p><p>Sansa, honestly, I don’t know what you expect to hear from me. I already told you, I would like to see you again, sit across from you, hear your voice, see your eyes when you talk, sense a whiff of air when you turn your head.</p><p>I miss you. I miss being physically close to you.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         10:09 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>It’s exactly that what worries me.</p><p>You and I… we’ve always had a gravitational force that was stronger than anything I’ve experienced with anyone.</p><p>Say we meet for a friendly cup of coffee do you really think it would stay just that? As if we’d ever been, could ever be just friends.</p><p>It seems to be my curse in this conversation to tell you things that I know you do not want to hear, but that need to be said anyway.</p><p>Margaery, I don’t want to get back together.</p><p>And if we met now, that is exactly where we would end up.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   10:15 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>You seem pretty sure of yourself there, Sans. What makes you think that I would want to get back together?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         10:33 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>I think that you want it as little as I.</p><p>But just imagine it. Imagine sitting across from me, in a restaurant, soft music playing in the background, the lights just bright enough to read the menu, but still dim enough to be considered romantic.</p><p>We’d sit across from each other, and would be hearing each other’s voice, looking each other in the eye, enwrapped by the smell of each other’s perfume – we’d remember, all that we have missed about each other, all that we have saved as vague memories in our heads now, suddenly it would be there again, would come rushing back.</p><p>It would happen on accident, or at least we would make it seem like it is one. Hands meeting as we both reach for the wine bottle. Or an accidental brush of hands -out of habit we’d tell us, maybe to underline a statement- as we talk to each other. And that touch becomes fingers entwining, holding on tightly.</p><p>I know I wouldn’t be able to let go. I know I would want more. All.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   10:35 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>… don’t you know how to paint a picture.</p><p>(A quite wonderful picture.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         10:36 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>We can’t meet, Margaery. Not now at least.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   10:45 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>But that sounds like you are not excluding it in the future.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         10:55 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>I’m not.</p><p>I only think, we need some time apart in order to figure things out. What we want. What went wrong. Where we want to go.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   10:56 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>Does being apart also exclude any exchange via email?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         10:56 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>No.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   10:57 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>Sounds a bit like cheating, though, wouldn’t you say?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         11:04 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>I’d call it a chance. To talk. Really talk. Rationally. Without being distracted by the others presence, tone, expression. Consider our answers instead of throwing them in each other’s face.</p><p>We’ve always had a lot of passion. I am thinking this more formal, controlled way of communication might do us good.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   11:08 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>Okay, I’m in. But I think we need some ground rules.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         11:10 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>Such as?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   11:12 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>About how to communicate. (Communication techniques, ways of communication, no-go’s, encouraged behaviour…)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         11:14 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>Not your worst idea.</p><p>I have a meeting now. How about we both sit down and come up with our set of rules and match and compare tomorrow?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   11:15 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                                         11:16 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>Enjoy the rest of your day.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                                   11:16 AM<br/>
Re: Unfair</strong>
</p><p>You too, Sansa.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:34 AM<br/>
My rules</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>How was your meeting? Successful I hope?</p><p>I’ve spent yesterday in and out of phone calls that I didn’t need to be part of, that would have left me bored out of my mind any other day, but thankfully I had something to occupy myself with in the meantime.</p><p>Are you curious for what rules I came up with? (I know I am for yours.) As most likely you will read this before giving me yours, feel free to add, to comment. (Not that you need my permission for that. I can see it now already, like giving comments for a business proposal. “See my comments below <strong>in bold</strong>.”)</p><p>Here we go.</p>
<ul>
<li>One question a day for alternating between us. (That the other has to answer.)</li>
<li>Clear words on the objective of our topics. (If you ask a question, I want to know why you are asking it. And vice versa.)</li>
<li>No talking when either of us is upset or stressed.</li>
<li>One topic at a time.</li>
<li>Non-Violent Communication. (i.e. start sentences with “I” instead of “You”; avoid terms like “always”, as in “you always do/say this”.)</li>
<li>We leave the conversation when either of us gets upset.</li>
<li>No assumptions. (We ask, if we are not sure how interpret something.)</li>
<li>No ghosting. (If we need some time to take a break we say it.)</li>
<li>A deadline. (In order not to be stuck in this back and forth for the next decade, let’s set a deadline. Once reached, we make a decision whether or not to meet.)</li>
</ul><p>Looking forward to hear what you think about my suggestions. Some of this is negotiable, other isn’t. Now I will get back to my call, I am sensing they expect my input on a topic.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:45 AM<br/>
Ground Rules</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Margaery,</p><p>I’ve seen your list of rules in my inbox, but I have not read it yet. I will get to that in a minute and let you know my thoughts.</p><p>First I want to share mine. Coming up with these, has turned out harder than I expected. I am fairly certain that this is not complete, and that we will need to add rules as we go along.</p><p>Here under my rules. Unsorted; the numbers serve for easier commenting for you, not for value or priority.</p>
<ol>
<li>If a rule is not working, we drop it, or replace it for another one.</li>
<li>Email is our only way of communication.</li>
<li>Messaging only during day time.</li>
<li>Messaging only when sober.</li>
<li>We take breaks from talking, e.g. on the weekend.</li>
<li>We are honest with each other.</li>
<li>No avoidance of any kind.</li>
<li>We tell each other if something upsets or hurts us.</li>
<li>No calling me “Ms. Stark”</li>
<li>No double entendre.</li>
<li>Before proclamations of any kind, both of us need to consent.</li>
</ol><p>Let me know what you think.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:20 PM<br/>
Re: My rules</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margery,</p><p>Please see below my comments <strong>in bold</strong>:</p>
<ul>
<li>One question a day for alternating between us. (That the other has to answer.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>While that gives it a bit of inappropriate game character, fine. It might make for some efficiency. What if I don’t use my question?</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>Clear words on the objective of our topics. (If you ask a question, I want to know why you are asking it. And vice versa.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>Fine.</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>No conversation when either of us is upset or stressed.</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>Yes. Very much agree with this one. Absolutely necessary.</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>One topic at a time.</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>Addendum: One topic a day, that we drop with the end of the day.</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>Non-Violent Communication. (Start sentences with “I” instead of “You”. Avoid terms like “always”, as in “you always do/say this”.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I see</em>
  </strong>
  <strong> why you would find this valuable, and <em>I feel</em> it could be as well.</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>We leave the conversation when either of us gets upset.</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>Once we have talked about it and see the difference of opinion as irreversible.</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>No assumptions. (We ask, if we are not sure how interpret something.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>Good luck with that. Sorry. <em>I feel</em> like both of us might have a hard time with that.</strong>
</p>
<ul>

</ul><p>
  <strong>Yes.</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>No ghosting. (If we need some time to take a break we say it.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>Good rule.</strong>
</p>
<ul>
<li>A deadline. (In order not to be stuck in this back and forth for the next decade, let’s set a deadline. Once reached, we make a decision.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>What time frame would you suggest? I am not opposed to the idea, quite the opposite, but I would like to know what I am dealing with here. My first question would be a whole lot different if we set the deadline for a month, as a opposed to a year.</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:24 AM<br/>
Re: Ground Rules</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>Here my thoughts:</p>
<ol>
<li>It sticks out to me that this was the first rule you came up with, is to drop them if we don’t feel their working. (Isn’t that a little against the purpose of them?) Nevertheless, fine for me.</li>
<li>So no texts, no phone calls, no social media?</li>
<li>I fail to see the purpose of only keeping our communication at day time. How would you define that? Business hours? Daylight? (That would give me an advantage.) 8-20h? Please clarify.</li>
<li>I want to say, where is the fun in that, but probably for the best.</li>
<li>This one I disagree with. We both have more likely to have time, to be relaxed when we are off work. Hence, weekends stay in.</li>
<li>It strikes me a little, that honesty is the only point we both had. Honesty was never our problem, was it?</li>
<li>A non-avoidance-policy will benefit me more than you. So yes.</li>
<li>A fancy way of saying, no being passive aggressive. Fine.</li>
<li>Curious to know why you put that one in, but sure, Ms. Stark. (Still fair game while we are negotiating.)</li>
<li>Again, where is the fun in that? But, (with gnashing teeth) fine.</li>
<li>We will need to define what you count as a proclamation and how giving consent is supposed to work without making the proclamation.</li>
</ol><p>Now I am off to read your comments. Curious for them.</p><p>Kind regards,</p><p>Ms. Tyrell</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:30 PM<br/>
Re: My rules</strong>
</p><p>And hereunder mine <em>in italics.</em></p>
<ul>
<li>One question a day for alternating between us. (That the other has to answer.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>While that gives it a bit of inappropriate game character, fine. It might make for some efficiency. What if I don’t use my question?</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Then I get to ask mine, and you are up again the next day.</em>
</p>
<ul>
<li>One topic at a time.</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>Addendum: One topic a day, that we drop with the end of the day.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Good addendum. Might not always be easy though.</em>
</p>
<ul>
<li>Non-Violent Communication. (Start sentences with “I” instead of “You”. Avoid terms like “always”, as in “you always do/say this”.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>
    <em>I see</em>
  </strong>
  <strong> why you would find this valuable, and <em>I feel</em> it could be as well.</strong>
</p><p>I see<em> what you are doing there, and </em>I feel<em> you are not taking it serious.</em></p>
<ul>
<li>We leave the conversation when either of us gets upset.</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>Once we have talked about it and see the difference of opinion as irreversible.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Yes, no metaphoric running out of the room before trying to hear the other out.</em>
</p>
<ul>
<li>No assumptions. (We ask, if we are not sure how interpret something.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>Good luck with that. Sorry. <em>I feel</em> like both of us might have a hard time with that.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Hence my request to be clear about the objective of our conversation.</em>
</p>
<ul>
<li>A deadline. (In order not to be stuck in this back and forth for the next decade, let’s set a deadline. Once reached, we make a decision.)</li>
</ul><p>
  <strong>What time frame would you suggest? I am not opposed to the idea, quite the opposite, but I would like to know what I am dealing with here. My first question would be a whole lot different if we set the deadline for a month, as a opposed to a year.</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Six months.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:55 PM<br/>
Re: Ground Rules</strong>
</p>
<ol>
<li>I am trying to keep us flexible. If we don’t want to change any rules, only better, but I would appreciate the opportunity.</li>
<li>No contact out of what we address to these respective emails accounts.</li>
<li>The purpose is trying to avoid late night confessions that we regret later. We could define a time every day, that is reserved for this conversation.</li>
<li>See first sentences of point 3.</li>
<li>But at defined times also.</li>
<li>You are right about that.</li>
<li>That was the point.</li>
<li>Thank you.</li>
<li>Very much appreciated, Ms. Tyrell.</li>
<li>See point 1.</li>
<li>Proclamation: Anything that could upset the nature of our conversation. Consent to it could look somewhat like this. “I need to tell you something that <em>I feel</em> might change our dynamic. Can I or would you prefer me not to?”</li>
</ol><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             04:20 PM<br/>
Final Ground Rules</strong>
</p><p>Good evening Margaery,</p><p>I’ve spent the rest of my day trying to combine both our lists. Hereunder the result.</p>
<ol>
<li>In alternation between us, one question a day, that must be answered truthfully.</li>
<li>We must keep clear about the objective of our topics and questions.</li>
<li>We must not communicate when either of us is stressed, upset, angry or sad.</li>
<li>We must stick to one topic at a time.</li>
<li>Conversation should follow the principle of Non-Violent Communication.</li>
<li>Should we find ourselves at a irredeemable point of conflict we stop talking for said day.</li>
<li>We don’t make assumptions, but ask if something is unclear.</li>
<li>We must be honest at all times.</li>
<li>We must not withdraw from the conversation for an undefined time or without an explanation.</li>
<li>Our conversation is limited to emails.</li>
<li>Our conversation should be limited to the time between 1600-2000.</li>
<li>We should not write each other when intoxicated in any way.</li>
<li>Conversation should follow a non-avoidance-policy.</li>
<li>We must be honest in expressing negative feelings.</li>
<li>We should stay away from terms of endearment of any kind; affectionate or sarcastic.</li>
<li>We should avoid lewdness or ambiguities of any kind.</li>
<li>Before interpersonal proclamations are made, we will ask consent.</li>
<li>Six months from now, we will re-evaluate whether or not to continue this conversation.</li>
<li>All rules are objected to being cancelled or changed. New rules may be added.</li>
</ol><p>Is it me or does this read a whole lot like a contract?</p><p>Let me know what you think.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:45 PM<br/>
Re: Final Ground Rules</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>It reads like either the most ambiguous contract I have seen in my life. (I keep expecting to reading terms like “party one will agree to do x if party two does y”.)</p><p>No. Just no.</p><p>Let’s take a step back, please. Are we making things to complicated here? I know it was my idea, and I still think ground rules are not the worst idea, but this? I wouldn’t know how to compose a message to you anymore. The times between 1600-2000 are certainly too short, unless I keep a cheat sheet with all those rules printed at my desk, for editing my emails.</p><p>How about this: Let’s narrow it down to six. You pick three, I pick three, and let’s see the rest as a … general guidance? (By the way, do not think I didn’t notice your use of “must” versus “should”. Don’t forget who you are dealing with, my dear.)</p><p>Here are the ones I choose:</p><p>1, 9, 18</p><p>Let me know if you agree,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:10 PM<br/>
Re: Final Ground Rules</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>I agree. I fully agree. Ground rules are a good idea, but one we didn’t think through. It will be impossible to have a conversation with these twenty rules hanging over our head, at least if we are aiming to stick to them.</p><p>Mine are: 6, 10 and 18.</p><p>Let’s keep it at five rules. That will be enough to try and hold up.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:00 PM<br/>
Our Rules</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>I’ve slimmed down each of the points. (In order to get rid of the contract character.) I hope that works for you.</p>
<ol>
<li>One question a day.</li>
<li>No going round in circles.</li>
<li>No ghosting.</li>
<li>Only emails.</li>
<li>Deadline of six months.</li>
</ol><p>Now, can we conclude the negotiations and proceed with point 1? I’ll give you the honours. (Assuming you have worked out a list already.)</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:13 PM<br/>
Re: Our Rules</strong>
</p><p>Does tomorrow work for you? All this negotiating has left me too tired, plus I will be at Arya’s and Gendry’s for dinner. I fear I cannot split my attention between you and a needy four year old, as you both wouldn’t appreciate it.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:20 PM<br/>
Re: Our Rules</strong>
</p><p>Tomorrow is good.</p><p>Have fun entertaining that four year old. (I miss her, give her a kiss from me.)</p><p>I am looking forward to your question. Make it a good one, Ms. Stark.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:40 AM<br/>
Question One</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Margaery,</p><p>A kiss back to you from the most attention seeking four year old on the planet. She can’t put it into words yet, but I know she misses you too. It’s in her eyes every time I pass through the door, she’s still expecting you to come in. I am only half as interesting without you. She has stopped asking for you though, I imagine Arya told her to stop.</p><p>Okay, fine, enough with the random anecdotes. You can see I am rambling more than usual? I’m nervous, Margaery. I can’t say why exactly, but the feeling at the pit of my stomach won’t go away. I fell asleep with it last night and woke up with it this morning.</p><p>You are right, I have a list of questions; hidden away behind the last page in my leather folder.  For today, I will pick one of the more positive ones. We deserve to ease into this I think.</p><p>Here my question: <em>Looking back, what time do you consider our happiest?</em></p><p>Looking forward to your answer, and hoping this pit of anxiety will finally go away once I hit send,</p><p>Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:32 PM<br/>
Re: Question One</strong>
</p><p>Good day Sansa,</p><p>I would be lying if I said your nervous ramblings do not amuse me a great deal. Please take my delayed reply not as an attempt to contribute to your “pit of anxiety”, because it wasn’t. (I was stuck in an audit closing meeting all morning, and am about to die from starvation.)</p><p>Nevertheless I had to read through your rambling, now you will have to read through my answers to it.</p><p>Little Edie first… I miss that kid more than I thought I had it in me to miss a child. It makes me happy and saddens me equally when you say she misses me too. Especially considering that I expect that will not be the case much longer. (Or how many memories do you still have from when you were four years old?)</p><p>At last, let’s get to your question shall we? (Still nervous? You needn’t be. I will be gentle with you this first time around.) You picked a nice question there, Sansa. A really nice one.</p><p>So, what do I consider our happiest time? That’s not a particular hard question, and still I give you two separate answers for it.</p><p><em>Our</em> happiest time was our first year. (Isn’t it that for most couples?)</p><p>We were so absolutely, truly, madly, deeply in love, it made even the most boring tasks special. (Like, remember that time I was cleaning the bathroom, and you came in and just sat there and watched me? Anyone else would have gotten a rant about helping me instead of watching, but, hells the way you looked at me… it was like you turned into a heart eye emoji before my very eyes.)</p><p>Remember how crazy about each other we were, how absolutely insatiable? (I recall sometimes coming out of a weekend with you with a few pounds off, because we skipped all of our meals. And there were so many movies that we never finished watching, because we lost ourselves in each other ten minutes in.)</p><p>I loved how we were slowly getting to know each other, in that first year. Even those details we never got to appreciate about each other I loved learning, I loved you recognizing them in me. Along with that goes how we slowly managed to find each other as a couple, found our own dynamic, our way of doing things, our compromises.</p><p>Yes,<em> our</em> happiest year was our first year.</p><p>Now, for the second part of my answer (and what I think was your actual question?), what time do <em>I </em>consider our happiest?</p><p>That would be the first couple of months after our one year anniversary. I can see you frowning already as I am typing these words, but yes, that was it for me. I know we had a lot of shit going on around us, and it wasn’t the easiest time, but I never felt stronger connected to you, never felt more of this “our love can weather it all” than in those couple of months. I do realise that you might not feel the same about that time. Especially in regards to the time after you moved in with me. I know that you weren’t happy, even back then I knew, but I was still so full of hope, so full of positivity…</p><p>I will come to an end here, hang on to those positive thoughts for a while longer, and try not to think of what came after.</p><p>I am curious, was this the answer you expected? Not just in content, but also in elaborateness.</p><p>Looking forward to your answer,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:59 PM<br/>
Re: Question One</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>Here is hoping you have managed to get yourself some food by now. I am glad my nervous ramblings were of amusement to you. You would have gotten a thrill out of the mini panic attack I had when your reply -finally- came in.</p><p>For what it’s worth, I am not nervous anymore. With every line from you that I read the nervous knot dissolved itself a little bit more, and instead I am still sitting here now smiling like a perfect fool. Truth be told, after I sent my question, my nervousness was at its absolute height. I was worried about your answer, worried that it might hurt. But it didn’t. Quite the opposite.</p><p>Yes, I agree, our first year was our happiest time. And you are right, I suppose it is for most couples, but I still like to think we were special. You put it into the perfect words, better than I ever could.</p><p>I also recall the occasion you mentioned, when you were cleaning the bathroom? You’ve had come out of a stressful week at work, your cleaner had been sick, and your place was a mess. You were a bit of a mess, in your old band shirt, and leggings, when you opened the door, your hair still in that perfect updo from work. You’d parked me on the couch and asked me to start drinking so I would oversee all the mess.</p><p>Marg, I hardly saw it in the first place. I only had eyes for you. The way you flew from one room to the next, so easily distracted in whatever work you had just started, abandoning it for a different one. One moment you were carrying around laundry, the next you had the vacuum in hand, a second later I saw you with paper towels and Windex. And always, and I mean always, shooting me your most gorgeous smile. I don’t remember why I followed you into the bathroom, but I remember sitting there on the edge of the bathtub and watching your face appear bit by bit when you wiped the mirror… your facial expression, when you looked at me. You smiled, I’m pretty sure I smiled… it was so terribly domestic and I didn’t mind a bit.</p><p>For the second part of your answer, I am in fact not frowning, but I am also not smiling as much as I was for the first part.</p><p>That time you mention -the first half of our second year- I wouldn’t say I wasn’t happy. We were thrown the first loops in our relationship, had overcome our first real fight, had weathered all the other things that were going on…  but that was it, wasn’t it? It became this -solving problems that came our way- more than it was about us anymore.</p><p>I am not even surprised to say that you were the happiest during those months. You were radiant, Marg; you were thriving. Running the company, entertaining an -you will allow me this negative term, because it always felt like that to me- exhausting social life, and all while conquering everything that came our way with ease.</p><p>There was that sentence that always stuck with me when reading about burnout syndrome. “In order to burn out, a person needs to have been on fire at one time.” Margaery, during that time you were on fire, you were ablaze; you were on top of the world, and yes, I can imagine that it felt amazing.</p><p>I’ll admit I even was a bit envious of you at the time. You were doing so well, functioning so perfectly, while I struggled, like I had not before in my life. Imbalance in our relationship was never a good thing for us, but I don’t need to tell you that.</p><p>I will make the cut at this point, too, in order to stick to the positive things, to keep this smile on my face a little bit longer.</p><p>Still smiling.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:01 PM<br/>
Re: Question One</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>I am starting to see why you were so insistent on having this conversation via email only. It shames me to say that I did not know you had quite such a way with words.</p><p>It was nice (yes, nice, not “nice”) to hear about that bathroom cleaning encounter out of your perspective… I mean, who can say that they get a chance to reminisce about those little (at the time so insignificant) moments. Though, allow me the comment: Next time you find yourself in a situation like this, maybe grab a broom yourself. I promise it’ll leave you irresistible.</p><p>I am sorry to say that I have to cut this short here. I am typing this waiting for my taxi, and by now it has arrived and honked twice.</p><p>Off to a fresh start tomorrow then. I very much enjoyed this first day of our (even if inappropriate) question game.</p><p>Wishing you a nice and relaxing evening,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
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</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:53 AM<br/>
My first question</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>How are you today? (No, obviously not <em>the</em> question.) I am fending of tiredness with loads of coffee this morning. Apologies at this juncture for writing you untypically late in the morning. Loras was in this morning lamenting about some parenting issues. (In case you were wondering, he and Renly are about as insufferable as dads as you would expect them to be. Not in a bad way, just… you know what, it doesn’t matter. I’m too tired to elaborate.)</p><p>So, for my very first question, I would like to know this: </p><p>What are the things you like and dislike most about me?</p><p>Wishing you a nice day,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:04 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>What has left you so tired? Didn’t sleep well last night?</p><p>I’m doing good. I spotted the first Christmas decorations in town today, and as you know that never fails to excite me. Though it serves as a reminder, that -once again- I did not stick to my plan to start early with buying gifts or at least planning a list.</p><p>I actually wouldn’t mind to hear about Loras and Renly as parents. They’ve adopted right? I saw a picture on Renly’s Facebook. Cute niece you got yourself there. Am I assuming right that she’s getting spoiled rotten?</p><p>Does it seem like I’m stalling? Because I am. I knew going into this that there would be question I’d be uncomfortable to answer. I just hoped it would not be quite so soon.</p><p>Lets start with the easier part. Things I like most about you.</p><p>Your kindness.  Your strength. Your stubbornness. The sound of your laughter. Your smirk. The way you love, to the point of almost losing yourself, without compromise, without regret. The way you give 100% in everything in your life. How you stick to and stand up for what you believe in. Your composure. Your ambition. Your beauty; inner and outer.</p><p>Now what don’t I like about you:</p><p>… Margaery, I’ve written and deleted these a dozen times now. I cannot bring myself to leave them standing.</p><p>Can we postpone that answer to another day? Please.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:18 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>My, my, there must be some terrible things on that negative list of yours if you are that reluctant to share. Cowardness is not a good colour on you, Sansa.</p><p>I get where you are coming from, Sansa. I really do. Yesterday was nice, pleasant to remise about better times, that is always easier. But we said we’d talk about things. And we agreed on a non-avoidance policy (part of your rules, even if we did not keep it in).</p><p>I recall you saying that you wanted to figure out what went wrong, so let’s talk about that. That is the purpose of my question. (Not to trick you, to break a fight or anything like it.) I want to know what are the things that you (have come to?) dislike about me.</p><p>I can even return the favour (start you off, if you want). This is what I do not appreciate about you. Your avoidance, your inability to see things through.</p><p>M.</p><p>PS. On a less passive-aggressive note. I did appreciate hearing what you like about me. That made me smile.</p><p>PPS. I will save the story about Loras and Renly and their family live for another time. But yes, you are right. She is adorable, and spoiled rotten.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             04:37 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>It frustrates me, when I feel that you are unable to take no for an answer.</p><p>It worries me, when I feel that your ambitious side takes over.</p><p>It makes me angry, when I feel that you are being passive-aggressive.</p><p>I want to withdraw, when I feel that all your words are bitter / sarcastic.</p><p>I feel like a failure when I get the impression that you blame me for everything that went wrong.</p><p>It makes me feel useless, when I offer you help, and I feel that you do not want it.</p><p>I am disagreeing with your political views.</p><p>It infuriates me when you give me a huff instead of an answer, because it makes me feel like I am not worthy of a reply.</p><p>I am frustrated when I feel your giving and taking affection as a measure of punishment.</p><p>It irritates me, when you put words in brackets, because I feel it is not an adult way of communication.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:59 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>Your lack of a reply until now had me thinking that I would not get an answer.</p><p>Sansa, honestly I am impressed.</p><p>Not only, did you give me the answer I wanted to a topic you were uncomfortable with, you also communicated them in a way that hardly leaves room for me to upset about any of the things you listed.</p><p>Thank you for this. It means a lot honestly.</p><p>(The brackets are staying by the way. Deal with it.)</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:11 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>I’m glad that what I wrote met your expectations -if that is the right word?- in light of honesty though, I cannot entirely credit for it. I asked Bran for help regarding how to communicate non-violently. Of course I refrained from telling him the truth about why my sudden interest in that topic. As far as he knows I am working on a leadership program for the company.</p><p>Furthermore I feel I need to point out, that while the listed points are things that I don’t like about you, the positive things will always weigh much, much stronger.</p><p>Now, I will admit that I did expect more of a comment back from you? You do say what I’ve written has not upset you, no, “hardly leaves room for [you] to be upset about” -good, I’m glad- though I can hardly imagine you have no single thought about it?</p><p>Are you still in the office or already on your way home? Typing this sitting in my car.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:35 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>You never fail to surprise me. Asking your brother for help was a smart thing to do. (I hope he didn’t charge you for the counselling session?) I would be fine with it, by the way, if you want to tell him that we are talking. Obviously he has a good influence on you, and if I trust anyone to be neutral it’s Bran. You and this conversation have become a regular topic with my therapist, so it would only be fair game if you would get some professional input as well.</p><p>On to the next topic… of course I have thoughts on it, but, again, the way you worded it does leave very little room for me to be upset. More than that, Gods, Sansa, I feel bad for you? (Not for all obviously, far from all.) The thing is, I am not unreflective about my bad sides, I was quite aware of a couple you have listed here… I just never thought that they would affect you, beyond irritating you or making you angry?</p><p>To set a few things straight:</p><p>You never outright told me that my ambition was a point of worry for you.</p><p>It wasn’t my intention to make you feel like a failure, neither was it to put all the blame on you. (I am aware that a significant part of that goes to me.)</p><p>I knew that when I was at my worst, I sucked at allowing you to help me, but, Sansa, I did that with the intention to protect you, to keep this negativity, all this stress from infecting you too. Right after my breakdown, I was so absolutely miserable, I did not know how to be around you (or anyone) anymore, and at the time I did not have the strength to share that with you, also because I could not bear for you to see me that weak. Not (never!) because I did not think you would be able to help me, or regarded you as useless.</p><p>I am home already. I’ll reheat my bowl of soup now, that has gone cold while typing this.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:03 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>If I am not misinformed then Bran, being my brother is not allowed to official offer me hours -ethnics and all that. I will however consider your suggestion, of maybe confiding in him simply as my brother. It’s not just Bran’s neutrality that is remarkably trustworthy, but also his discretion.</p><p>The rulebook was not clear on that -even the more extensive one- am I allowed to ask you a question outside of the daily one? If not, please ignore this and I will save it for when it’s my turn.</p><p>Did you tell Loras that we are talking again? Or anyone, outside of your therapist?</p><p>Now, back to the main topic: Please don’t feel bad for me? Out of all possible reactions that my list of things I dislike about you, could have elicited – not that one. I can endure your anger, but not your compassion.</p><p>I am home now and will treat myself to a nice hot bath.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:16 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>Say hi to Bran from me, should you decide to tell him.</p><p>I think it is okay for us to ask questions out of THE question. Just whether or not we will answer them is up to us. This one I will answer.</p><p>No, I didn’t tell Loras we are talking again. It’s … I want to say private, but you are aware that there is hardly anything I do not share with him, so it’s not that. It’s also not because he would disapprove (he would, without a single doubt), but that wouldn’t be the first time. I just… (and please don’t take this the wrong way) don’t feel there is anything to tell him, nothing were him knowing would matter or make a difference. This is mainly between us, for us to figure out. The doubts and worries I do have about it (I am still not certain that for us to keep talking is our very best idea) I will either share with you, or with my therapist (who thinks it could be helpful by the way).</p><p>It amuses me sometimes that with all our differences we are so similar sometimes. You say you cannot endure my compassion. Sansa, why do you think I was not able to let you help me? It was for the very same reason. There is just something devastating about letting the one person who’s admiration you crave more than anything else seeing you at your weakest.</p><p>I hope that bath has an relaxing effect on you. I am opting for some yoga and then a hot shower.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:15 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>I get it, why you have not told him, and I am also not suggesting that you are or should. I was just curious. I assume he has not been, resp. is not my biggest fan. It is a small relief though that this conversation has a professional seal of approval. Did your therapist elaborate why she thought so?</p><p>Looks like we have our first answer in things that went wrong. Mutual inability to show vulnerability.</p><p>That was not always a problem for us, though, was it? I remember a time, when we were able to talk about these things, about our fears, openly. When did that change? Why did that change?</p><p> I am still in the tub as I am typing this, but I will get out now, the water is starting to get cold and into a warm pair of pyjamas. Isn’t it a bit late for yoga?</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:57 PM<br/>
Re: My first question</strong>
</p><p>I would not word it that way. Loras does not have a problem with you personally. He is just consequent (and realistic I think) when it comes to picking sides. I am his sister, so of course he is on mine, without compromise, without consideration. I kind of love that about him.</p><p>She did elaborate. Wait, let me see if I can remember the words she used… I think it was something along the lines of “A mutual reflection can be helpful if both parties abide the same rules and have the same goal.” Clearly I am paraphrasing, but that was the essences of it. Before you ask, yes, the idea with the rules came from her.</p><p>A loaded question you put on me (on us) there at this time of the day. I don’t know if we will make it before we have to reset our topic for today. (I will try nonetheless.)</p><p>I think… <em>I</em> was what changed and why it changed. I was the one who had always been more vocal about feelings, insecurities and whatnot. You were more reserved in that. To me it felt sometimes like you were merely reacting to it, or sharing because you felt obligated to, because I was. When things were starting to overwhelm me… well I guess I closed up (for previously mentioned reasons). Could it be that you took it personal? Could it be that you took it as rejection? Or maybe you were even initially relieved? I don’t know, but thinking back, for me that is what happened.</p><p>Um, so, yes, yoga. It helps me sleep. Something about the breathing, the stretching… I don’t know. It helps unwind. I’m in bed now and will turn of my phone and try to sleep. (I’ve accidentally opened a message that was work related and it takes a good amount of willpower not to reply to that amount of stupidity right away.)</p><p>Wishing you a good night, and will be awaiting your question tomorrow.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
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</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:00 AM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Margaery,</p><p>I’m typing this still lying in bed. I am awake a good thirty minutes before my alarm. It has been a while since that happened. I think I might be nervous about my next question. Nervous about your answer. I wonder if down the line that will change in this question game of ours. Let’s hope so. My nerves can’t handle this level of anxiety every other day.</p><p>Here my question: <em>When did you feel for the first time that we were not going to make it?</em></p><p>Wishing you a successful day. I will be stuck in meetings all morning, so no reason to rush with your answer.</p><p>Wishing you a nice day.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:38 AM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>You are not the only one who’s awake before her alarm. I think I might have pulled a muscle last night (lesson learned: no rushing through my late night yoga) and have been up since five. (Way too early, way too dark.) I am now pondering over your question, over a steaming cup of coffee, with a stiff neck and I will try to give you a relatively quick and simple answer. (So you don’t go into your morning of meetings with all that anxiety.)</p><p>That realisation was a slow process for me. It was a thought that was there several times over the last months. I thought a bunch of times “this is it, we just have to end it now and here” … and then something came along, (you did something, I did something, we made an effort, we had a moment) that gave me hope again, that maybe we would make it through after all.</p><p>It’s hard to narrow it done when exactly that hope disappeared. I think around the time we stopped fighting? Our calm came after the storm, after we’d weathered everything, came out on the other side and had lost us somewhere in there.</p><p>I suppose that answer was quick, but not simple. (Not simple to give, and I suppose not simple to hear either.)</p><p>Still wishing you a nice day, (Happy Friday!)</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:10 AM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>Thank you for your honest answer – as hard as it was to read.  </p><p>For once, I have no comment, nothing to add, nothing to correct.</p><p>I’ll go to work now. Starting my first meeting of the day, not with anxiety, but with leaden regret.</p><p>I will talk to you later.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:23 AM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>It speaks volumes that we cannot even seem to argue about it now.</p><p>I am sorry for sending you into your day with such a bad feeling; I thought that the anticipation of an answer would be worse than the answer. Looks like I was wrong. I hope this does not lead you to avoid the more difficult questions in the future. I think it’s important that we ask them.</p><p>Would you like to keep talking, even though our “topic of the day” exhausted itself so quickly?</p><p>I could offer you the tale of Loras and Gendry, struggling with the joys of fatherhood.</p><p>Or alternatively tell you all about that poppy seed roll I just had for breakfast.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:44 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Good afternoon Margaery,</p><p>I’ve made it through the first half of the day and am feeling better. I did not mean to be quite so dramatic this morning. I was tired, and you know what I am like without my proper eight hours of sleep. Now, with my mind challenged by some topics about work, and after a nice lunch with my mom and Robb, my spirits have rejoiced a bit.  Thank you for your considerate message though.</p><p>I will do my very best to try and not go into avoidance mood on difficult topics in the future. Be assured though, that my next question will be of a lighter nature. If only for the sake of balance.</p><p>I am very intrigued to hear all about your niece; less about the poppy seed roll -sorry, you sounded excited about it.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:06 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Hello Sansa,</p><p>I figured that the lack of sleep was contributing to your negative mood this morning. Glad to hear you are doing better. This thing what we are doing here, won’t always be easy I suppose, but (without trying to jinx it) aren’t you proud of how well we’ve shipped around all those cliffs so far? I for sure am.</p><p>For the sake of balance I will try to go easy with my question tomorrow.</p><p>Now all about little Lenna, or in full: Olenna Alerie Cassana Tyrell-Baratheon. A handful of names for such a tiny girl, wouldn’t you say? Well she’s living up to it for sure, even at only two months. She is the prime and pride of her dads (and be sure that she knows it). I promise you, after one hour in the Tyrell-Baratheon household, you’d never call your darling Edie an attention seeker again. But I am getting ahead of myself.</p><p>They got the call from the adoption agency on the day she was born. Sansa, I will not even attempt to describe the panic and chaos that came into rolling in that moment. I drove them to the hospital the next day, and I am not exaggerating when I say, I had my doubts about how fit they were to be fathers. And then they saw her for the first time... now, I am pretty certain that to anyone else it looked like that cliché of a magical first time seeing your child, where the panic settles and all that, but those two didn’t fool me. I’m telling you they had gone rigid with fear.</p><p>Needless to say they have risen to the occasion since then. And from what I saw it wasn’t easy. Lenna is a screamer, has been from the first night they brought her home. If she is not carried around by someone she screams. (Not that there are a lot of occasions where that is the case. Renly and Loras are fully committed to attachment parenting.) But they are happy, blissful to a level that is hard to stomach, and she is truly adorable.</p><p>It’s a shame that Grandmother didn’t get to meet her. She would have adored her, and would have been the (sometimes needed) rational voice those two helicopter dads would need. I find it a nice touch though, that they named her after her, this way she is with her at least in name.</p><p>I wish I could take you over there to see all that chaos in their house. Sometimes when there is nothing on TV at night I go over there just for some entertainment. At the very least afterwards I am enjoying my empty and quiet apartment once I get back.</p><p>At last I hope reading this was somewhat entertaining for you. I will attempt to get some more work done now. I am trying to get out of here early today.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:35 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Good evening Margaery,</p><p>Somehow it was five today before I knew it, and before I had a chance to read your message. I hope you made it out on time? Any plans for the evening? Or even the weekend?</p><p>I am deeply entertained by your observations about the Tyrell-Baratheon household. That’s what we always anticipated they were going to be like as dads, do you remember? But, no, all jokes aside, I am sure they are wonderful. Which young parents aren’t overwhelmed with their new responsibility. Their perfectionism for sure will not make things easier for them, but they will get the hang of it.</p><p>The way you describe it, I do wonder how Loras would ever agree to a long weekend away that you guys were on. I thought you said that he whisked you away? Or was it the other way around?</p><p>Did you do your fair share of babysitting yet? It sounds like you were rather involved from the first day on. It will be good for her to have you as an influence in her life; not Olenna, no, but you are the closest thing possible.</p><p>I get what you are saying, about wishing for your grandmother to be around for her to grow up. She would have been proud without a doubt. Though I do not imagine her as so much of the fuzzing over babies kind of granny, was she that when you and Loras were little?</p><p>Wishing you a nice evening and a good early start into your weekend,</p><p>Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:24 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Good evening Sansa,</p><p>I did manage my plans to get out on time, but I just got home a minute ago. I'm exhausted. A friend convinced me to visit this dance class for bio-dancing. It's the new hip thing for exercise apparently. It was fun, but I feel that my physical age has gone up tremendously. I need to get some cardio back into my routine. </p><p>It's a fair question, about why and how Loras agreed to come along. I will let you in on a secret… Renly wanted him out of the house. Loras still thinks it was his idea and that he was taking me away rather than the other way around, but it was all planned and set into place by Renly. In his words if at least one of them got out of the house and spend some time with adults maybe they'd have other topics to talk about besides diapers and feeding schedules. (Not that Loras didn’t call in a two hour rhythm to get updates, plus the video call at night so Lenna wouldn’t forget his face... Super moms those two. I'm telling you.)</p><p>I don’t know how I feel about the comparison with my grandmother. I still feel those are too big shoes to fill. My therapist says I should stay away from trying, because I'm a different person and trying to live up to someone else will always make me feel inferior. (Thank you still for the comparison. I know you meant it well.)</p><p>For your other questions: No she wasn’t your bake cookies and read you bed time stories sort of granny. (Obviously.) More of a sit you down and have serious talks with you at the age of five kind of grandmother. (Did I ever tell you that she hated the term granny? Or any abbreviation? "Grannies are old, have a hunchback and tell silly stories. Do I appear like that to you?")</p><p>And also no, so far I have not done a whole lot of babysitting. It was not needed. Loras is still on maternity leave. (Also truth be told I'd prefer to wait until she gets a bit cuter from this screaming, squishy-faced mess. Once she is all chubby and giggles I might reconsider.)</p><p>So what are your plans for the weekend? Should I brace myself for late night messages again?</p><p>Have a good night, my dear,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:46 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Bio-dancing, huh? I would have paid good money to see that. Are you able to dance your name now? Or is it more like a rain dance? Please enlighten me on how can I imagine this whole ordeal working?</p><p>I hope you know that the comparison to your grandmother was meant as a compliment. I did think very highly of her and found her admirable for what she achieved. Even if we did not always see eye to eye. But certainly I did not mean it as any sort of unreachable goal. You are a lot like her, which is great; but in so many ways you are also unlike her, which is also great. </p><p>About my plans for this weekend, well actually I am more excited about them than I have been in a long time. Get this: I am getting a dog! Tomorrow morning Ygritte is taking me to the pet store to get all the things I need, you know, dog food, leashes, toys and whatnot and then in the afternoon we’ll be “dog-proofing” my apartment. Sunday morning Jon will come with me up to Queenscrown -he knows a farmer there- to pick her up. I took Monday off and will work from home for the rest of the week in order to make sure we’ll get used to each other. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:55 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>You sound seriously excited about your new furry roommate. That is really cute Sansa, I am happy for you. I demand a picture once you have her at home, yes? (I don’t care if that is against the rules; cute puppies are a good reason to break them once in a while.) Have you thought of a name for her yet? What breed is she, do you know? Have you thought about yet how you will make it work with your job and everything? Can you maybe take her to the office?</p><p>Now, I do not know how serious your questions about my bio-dance class were. No it’s no rain dance, or spelling out my name through dancing. It a way to translate human emotions, conditions, situations or fantasies into movement and dramatic expression, getting in touch with yourself and expressing it over the top. It’s fun actually, once you get over the initial awkwardness of dancing your soul out, sober and in front of so many other people. (Granted, I suppose that would you take a while longer than me.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:03 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>I am so excited, I am like a child counting the hours to its birthday. It’s a little embarrassing really, but I also think it will be good for me. Bran made the suggestion actually. I am not sure if it was my brother or the psychologist talking -not that I am ever with him. He thinks that for someone as socially withdrawn as I am -obviously his words, and on second thought, clearly it was the psychologist talking- building a bond will be good for me. I don’t care so much for his reasoning, but the idea grew on me, and then Jon mentioned this farmer and the puppies.. it just sort of all came together. </p><p>I don’t know much about her except that she is a wolfhound, the smallest of the whole litter apparently. I have not thought of a name yet. I told you about the dog I had as a child? Lady? I thought about using that name, but I am not sure. Is that in bad taste, what do you think? I actually considered hiring a dog sitter for her, and doing more work from home. But you make a good point. It could work, taking her to the office with me. I had not thought of that yet. </p><p>I am sorry if my question sounded like I was making fun of you. I promise you I wasn’t -much. I am glad if you found a new hobby that is fun, and therapeutic -you make it sound like that? I am fairly certain it wouldn’t be for me. I have a hard time expressing feelings with my words, I don’t want to think what using my body would look like. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:08 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>As far as I recall you were always fairly good with expressing things through your body. Great even. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:08 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>You made that easy.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:09 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Good night, Sansa. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:12 PM<br/>
Re: Question Two</strong>
</p><p>Good night, Margaery.</p><p>Sleep well. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:55 PM<br/>
Your second question</strong>
</p><p>Are you still awake? </p><p>It just occurred to me that I will be pretty busy tomorrow. If you have your question, and if you are still awake, do you want to ask it now? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:01 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>I am still awake. And I know what I want to ask. … only I am not sure if it is a question that can be easily answered. (No it’s nothing bad -I promised you that- but not a simple yes or no question either.) I don’t want to keep you up too long, when you have a full day tomorrow and on Sunday. </p><p>I could also wait to Monday, if you want?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:03 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>I can’t sleep anyway. Go ahead, ask. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:08 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>Do you think things would be different, had it not been for my breakdown?</p><p>(I can’t promise that I will manage to stay awake for your answer, if not I will read it first thing tomorrow.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:20 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>You were not kidding when you suggested that your question could not be answered easily. I am not entirely sure what you want to hear from me now. </p><p>A fantasy scenario where all is nice and good? </p><p>Or a serene view on things where we would be in the exact same place? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:24 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>I want to hear what you think, not what you think I want to hear. </p><p>But since you are asking I would prefer the fantasy scenario.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:30 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>As much as I want to indulge you in that, I find worrisome that you picked this question. What good is supposed to come from this question?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:31 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>Why are you so afraid of a hypothetical question?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:33 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>Doesn’t it scare you? To wonder what could have been? What we might have missed out on?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:34 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>I have a fairly clear picture in my mind, of what could have been. It hurts (sometimes), but it doesn’t scare me.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:38 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>That is not the selling argument you think it is.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:40 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>It’s okay if you need time for your answer. I told you it was not a simple question to answer. There is no need to rush. I will go to sleep now and I think maybe you should too.</p><p>Good night, Sansa.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             04:08 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>Margaery,</p><p>Your question, pondering about your question has sucked a good deal out of the joy out of my day. I am not saying this in resentment, but merely as a fact. This is my third try to compose this message, to give you the answer you asked for, but I am struggling, and at last I think I understand why.</p><p>Your question, even more so your demand for the fantasy scenario as my answer, it holds the implication that everything would be fine had it not been for your breakdown. And I feel obligated to ask you if you truly feel that things would be good between us if that had not happened? Did I give you that feeling? If so, I am deeply sorry.</p><p>There is no need in denying that what you went through put a strain on our relationship, but it’s not like that was in either of our control. As little as all the other small and big things that we went through; that we tried -and failed- to concur.</p><p>I need to hear this from you, before I can go on, and answer your question at last. I need you to tell me that you understand that.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:13 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>…sucking the joy out of your day. It has been a while since I managed that, hasn’t it?</p><p>No, Sansa, I don’t blame myself. At least not more than I blame you. (That’s fair, wouldn’t you say?)</p><p>But you cannot deny that in what led to our break up me going in a downward spiral, and your inability to cope were the most defining factors.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:16 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>I am not denying it, I am just saying it was not all that went wrong.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:30 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>You know what? Forget I ever asked. You don’t have to answer the question. You win. I refuse to talk you into (yet another!) answer that you clearly do not want to give.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:43 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>Now I’m the bad guy again? No, that’s too easy.</p><p>Margaery, let’s please take a step back here. Don’t you think I feel like an idiot, yet again struggling to answer your question? I don’t want to be avoidant, I really don’t. But is a certain amount of reluctance not to be expected? First you ask me to list the things I dislike about you. Now you ask me to describe a version of us, if you had not been through a terrible time.</p><p>Whether it’s conscious or not, it feels like you are setting me up to hurt you.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:45 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>And to me your reluctance to answer feels like your patronising me, like you are deciding for me what I can and cannot handle.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:50 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>That was never my intention.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:30 PM<br/>
Re: Your second question</strong>
</p><p>And still, it’s what you end up doing.</p><p>Sansa, I need a break. I will write you again next week.</p><p>Don’t worry about answering the question, it doesn’t matter. Tomorrow should be a day you look forward to in excitement, and I don’t want to be responsible for ruining that.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-four days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:34 PM<br/>
Hello</strong>
</p><p>How are things going with your new furry roommate?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:37 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>We are adjusting to one another slowly.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:40 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>I’d still like a picture of her.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:41<br/>
Attached Image</strong>
</p><p>It was the best one I could manage so far. She’s a bit shy.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:42 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>She’s precious, Sansa. Have you settled on a name?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:45 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>Yes. I’d been pondering the whole drive there -Jon was bugging me that naming her after the dead dog from my childhood was not a good idea- but what can I say, I saw her and it was clear: There could be no other name than Lady.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:05 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>It’s fitting for her. A good choice.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:12 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>How have you been?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:13 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>Fine. A little sulky.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:20 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>That was to be expected.</p><p>I thought about writing to you, but I wasn’t sure you’d appreciate that, resp. if that was within the lines of what was okay in taking a break.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:23 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>It would have been for me, yes. It’s not that I don’t enjoy seeing your name in my inbox. (Well, okay, dependent on the message that comes along with it.) Just replying was draining my energy.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             </strong>
  <strong>08:25 PM</strong>
  <strong><br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>Noted.</p><p>I have an answer now, by the way, if you still want to hear it.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:26 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>Not today.</p><p>I’d rather hear more about Lady.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:34 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>Well, let’s see… She really is shy still. Especially with other people around. Last night Arya, Gendry and Edie were at my place to meet her, and the poor thing was cowering behind the couch for the majority of their visit. I guess I should have known it was too much too soon. Especially Edie, who’s idea of petting is testing the bending angle of Lady’s spine.</p><p>But she is getting used to me. Not much of a cuddler -yet, I hope- but she’s following me everywhere.</p><p>And she is most excited whenever I get the leash to take her on a walk. All wagging her tail and her tapping around on too short legs. It’s adorable.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:36 PM<br/>
Re: Hello</strong>
</p><p>She sounds precious, Sansa.</p><p>(And a little like you. You were always your best mood when it was just the two of us.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>-three days later-</strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:22 PM<br/>
Your answer</strong>
</p><p>If you still want to give it, I think I’d like to hear your answer now.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:36 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>I decided to give your question a little twist -in what I hope you will find acceptable. I am taking a step further back in our story than suggested by you, way before all your -and our- struggles were even on our radar.</p><p>Do you remember the old mansion on the Shield Islands we saw on our first vacation? The one you said you could imagine as a home for when we were retired, to open our own bed and breakfast, because the workaholics we are we’d never truly retire.</p><p>The thought to call the number on the for sale sign was there for a moment. I didn’t tell you, but I considered for just a moment to see if it was available. I wish I had. It could have been ours, we could have renovated it, restored the former glory, made it a thriving little hotel in this gorgeous landscape. Of course I have no way too predict if that would have made things better in the end. Likely taking our jobs completely out of the equation would have made us miserable, and overseeing a remodel together would have been anything but easy… but ignoring those more rational thoughts for a moment, if I could change something, if I could do something different at a point, I would have called that number.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:42 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>For how reluctant you are to answer my questions, you do come up with wonderful answers, Sansa. (I think I need to learn to be more patient with you.)</p><p>I had honestly forgotten about that house, but now that you mention it, the picture you paint… yes, I think it could have worked out for us, a life like that. The cosiness of a bed and breakfast with the high end comfort of a top hotel. We could have made that work I think. </p><p>(Or we would have been bored out of our minds and been at each other’s throats because of that.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:00 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>I still fail to see how the answer to that question was anything but mental torture. There is no point in wondering what if. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:04 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Don’t be so viciously pragmatic all the time. It’s called dreaming. (Not sure if you've heard of the concept?)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:13 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Dreaming is for a future that can still happen. About things that are said and done I cannot help but be pragmatic. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:03 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Fine. Maybe your right. And you wouldn’t be you if you reacted any other way.</p><p>Still thank you for indulging me in this. </p><p>Do you have a question for me?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             04:08 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Let's postpone that to tomorrow? I have an eager little puppy to take outside now. And looking at the weather she will need a bath afterwards.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:10 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Full evening planned then I see. Sounds a lot more fun than mine.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:30 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Can I be honest?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:30 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>I hope you can.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:46 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>I'm no longer sure about this question game of ours. Two out of four times one of us ended up upset. And the other two the answer was not provoking an argument but didn’t exactly leave me joyful either. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:50 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>We knew it wouldn’t be easy. (Or I did. Didn’t you expect it?)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:09 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>I don’t know what I expected. </p><p>Off to shower a very dirty dog now.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:20 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>My therapist thinks that your problem with the questions is that it robs you off control over the conversation. (And I think she is right.) You want to be prepared, you write a message already predicting what I will say to each paragraph and planning your next one. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:23 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Thank your therapist for the analysis via distance. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:29 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>...and when I call you out you shut down. (She also said I would need to prepare myself for that.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:06 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>I cannot type and contain a very lively -and water shy- puppy at the same time. </p><p>No, I am not denying that the analysis is wrong. I like to be in control and I like to be prepared. There is nothing wrong with that, is there? Shouldn’t a conversation between be structured so that we are both comfortable. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:06 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Once in a while it wouldn’t be bad for you to get out of that comfort zone. </p><p>(It also says a lot that you are most comfortable when YOU are in control about what WE talk about.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:14 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>And how exactly is this bringing you out of your comfort zone? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:16 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>You think this is easy for me? You think reminiscing about the happiest and the most difficult time in my life is what I do instead of watching TV at night?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:40 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Then why do we do it?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:42 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>Do you want to stop talking? Maybe that would be for the best. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:55 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>You mean for tonight?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:57 PM<br/>
Re: Your answer</strong>
</p><p>No, not only tonight. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-3 days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:21 PM<br/>
not okay</strong>
</p><p>Marg,</p><p>Are you doing okay? I am not. </p><p>I am drunk. (Not much, but I am.) And I’m lonely. And that was a bad idea. You can be drunk or you can be lonely. But both at the same time sucks. </p><p>Greetings from somewhere between my first and second glass of wine</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:30 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>Good evening Sansa,</p><p>I did not know you had drunk texting (emailing?) within your repertoire. </p><p>Don’t you have Lady to keep you company?</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:32 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>I'm not drunk (not much). </p><p>The traitorous animal fled. She’s like the opposite of a service dog. My distress repels her.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:33 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>Want to tell me what is distressing you?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:40 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>I shouldn't. Now, please don’t make this into a whole me bit answering your questions again thing. I want to, but there is still enough wine left in the bottle for me to know that I shouldn't. </p><p>I don’t know why I thought this was a good idea. I suppose if this was a call I'd say I wanted to hear your voice. Sorry. You made it clear that you didn’t want to talk anymore. Fits in your picture of me needing to control everything that I could not accept that.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:45 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>Actually I asked you if <em>you</em> wanted to stop talking. And you never answered. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:47 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>Because it was rather obvious that <em>you</em> didn’t. Otherwise you wouldn't have made the suggestion. </p><p>And now once again I'm ignoring what you want. Again: Sorry. This was a bad idea. I just wanted to hear your voice. Or whatever the email equivalent is. Read your writing?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:50 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>No, what you were doing (and are doing now) is making assumptions about what I want (need).</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:52 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>So you want to keep talking?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:56 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>I suppose I'm a fool for it, but yes.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:59 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>That makes two of us… not a good combination. The fools, not that we want to keep talking. Though I suppose that too.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:05 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>What is on your mind, Sansa? Why are you getting drunk on a Tuesday night?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:06 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>I had a bad day.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:07 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>Why was it bad?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:09 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>Because there was again no message from you. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:10 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>I can relate. </p><p>I'm glad you found the (liquid) courage to write to me.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:11 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>I was hoping you'd say that. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:12 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>I missed you (and your messages) those last days. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:15 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>It makes me happy to hear you say that. Maybe it shouldn't? But I'm starting to care less about should and shouldn't with every sip. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:16 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>Pour yourself another glass then. I'll get one too. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:17 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>To level the playing field?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:20 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>That I won’t manage, your head start is considerate and I have an early meeting tomorrow. </p><p>But perhaps I'll care a little less about should and shouldn't as well. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:26 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>So no rules?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:30 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>No rules. For tonight.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:31 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>Can I call you? I really want to hear your voice. I miss your voice. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:34 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>I don't know if that's the best idea.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:36 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>You’re scared. What are you scared of?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:40 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>You. Myself. Missing you more than I can handle. Wanting to call you again afterwards.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:42 PM<br/>
Re: not okay</strong>
</p><p>Would that be so bad? Wanting to talk to me again? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:43 PM<br/>
Please</strong>
</p><p>Call me, Marg. Please. I won't answer. Just leave me a voicemail.  </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:44 PM<br/>
Re: Please</strong>
</p><p>Your needy when your drunk. Has anyone ever told you that? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:47 PM<br/>
Re: Please</strong>
</p><p>You used to call it affectionate.</p><p>It’s just… This will sound silly. but, I think I'm starting to forget, what you sound like. I'd recognise your voice under thousands, but now sitting here I cannot remember and that scares me. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:50 PM<br/>
Re: Please</strong>
</p><p>Okay. One voice message. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:53 PM<br/>
One more request</strong>
</p><p>One more request… when you call, could you read that one email out loud? The one from two weeks ago, where you answered my first question?</p><p>I know I'm needy. And I'm 100% certain I'll die of shame tomorrow, but, would you?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:05 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Lucky you I find your needy drunk persona charming.  </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:38 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Thank you, Marg.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:40 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>And here I thought the sound of my voice lulled you to sleep at last. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:43 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Not quite, no.  More the opposite. Is it weird that I feel a bit shy now? It is, isn't it? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:45 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Do I want to know where that shyness stems from? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:53 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Wanna know what line I could listen to again and again and again?</p><p>"Remember how crazy about each other we were, how absolutely insatiable?"</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:53 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>My, my Sansa… when you drunk text you don’t do it halfway do you?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:57 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>I'll hate myself tomorrow. But I don't care.  I'm happy to have this now. To have your voice talking about how happy we once were.  </p><p>You have such a lovely voice Marg. So soft and gentle, but sometimes that raw quality to it, like almost growling? It's intimidating when you're angry … and so, so sexy when you're not. Or even when you're angry.  I love that quality in your voice. It is… you had that in that night too. Our first night. When you spun around to me and your eyes were so fiery with anger. "Ms Stark" … Gods Marg. You have no idea what it does to me when you call me that...</p><p>I'm saying too much I shouldn't say aren't I? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:58 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>No should or shouldn't, remember?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:02 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>You're taking advantage of a very drunk woman.  That's not very gentlewoman-like of you.  </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:03 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>I thought you weren't (much) drunk?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:04 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Yeah… but the empty bottle begs to differ.</p><p>Screw it, I don't care. Take advantage. You've earned that with your wonderful voice mail.  </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:05 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Oh Sans, tomorrow will be such a long day for you. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:15 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>That's tomorrow. Right now is what matters.  And right now I feel good… I've surrendered a portion of my self-control, dunked it in wine, and it feels good to let go of that for once. </p><p>Even the dog came back. I think she can sense it.</p><p>Do you know how exhausting it is to be me sometimes? Always in control, always closed off and reluctant to say what I think? Ever so worried about the consequences?</p><p>You were right with what you said the other day. "You want to be prepared, you write a message already predicting what I will say to each paragraph and planning your next one."</p><p>Yes. I do that. And it's exhausting! </p><p>Why do I do that? </p><p>I'm sorry for doing that to you.  </p><p>I'm sorry that I still tried to control you when you needed help and support, not someone telling you what to do.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:17 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>The dog probably came back because she's sensing you bordering on alcohol poisoning. </p><p>I know it won’t make a difference, but please don’t do that to yourself now.  </p><p>You are quite all right as you are.  Even your need to control things can be nice on occasions. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:18 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>I'm opening my soul to you and you are making innuendos. Nice. </p><p>So you can appreciate me being a control freak but only if it gives you an orgasm?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:19 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>I will admit it is the easiest then, yes.  </p><p>But far from the only occasion were I knew to appreciate it.  </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:20 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>What other occasions then?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:24 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Like when we're out with a group and politeness of everyone makes it impossible to make any decision? You just decide, you take charge. </p><p>Or when we are on trips together, I can be sure that you've read the travel guide and that you have a whole thing planned. I don’t need to worry about transfers, technicalities of any kind.</p><p>And never more than when I felt too weak to get out of bed and you took care of me. Made sure I showered, ate and took my medication.  </p><p>I know I complain, but balanced right, you need to be in control can be really great. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:26 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Thank you for that, Marg.</p><p>I admire that about you. You always find a way to build me up, even if I don’t deserve it. Or am not as good in returning the favour. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:30 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>You are beating yourself up over something that is not a problem. I think sober you knows it's not a problem, drunk you is just a tad dramatic.</p><p>Why don't you go to sleep now? I can’t keep my eyes open much longer but also feel like I can’t leave you unsupervised (even I'd this supervision is just virtually) in your current state. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:33 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Will we still talk tomorrow?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:34 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Go to sleep, darling. I'll be here tomorrow waiting for you on our virtual Island.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:37 PM<br/>
Re: One more request</strong>
</p><p>Okay. I'll see you tomorrow on the island. </p><p>And for tonight I'll hear you, just one last time.</p><p>(Lady likes your voice by the way.)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A big, big thank you to all you wonderful people who read, commented, left Kudos. You're positive response to this story absolutely overwhelmed me. So much in fact, that I lost all self-control and good intentions to keep this second part captive for a couple more days. I simply cannot wait for you to read it. </p><p>What to expect? Let's see... A hangover. A breakthrough. Smut. Soul-crushing angst. (And a happy ending.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:15 AM<br/>Greetings from the Island</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>I'll take the lack of any more messages last night as a sign that you actually did go to sleep. </p><p>I hope you are feeling okay this morning and don’t have too worse of a headache?</p><p>I wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed talking to you last night. With a little wine in your system I felt you were more relaxed than in all of the previous 122 emails (yes, I counted - 30 emails alone last night - I will leave that uncommented). Now I am not suggesting you start drinking on a regular basis, but perhaps let this out-of-control and a little needy Sansa out to play every once in a while? I think I might like her. </p><p>I am wishing you a good day (that will hopefully not be all too long). </p><p>Greetings from the island, </p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:22 PM<br/>Hello?</strong>
</p><p>Good evening Sansa, </p><p>Are you still drunk or simply too hungover to reply to me?</p><p>I am a little worried, my dear. I will do something I never do and send this email with a return receipt. Just a small confirmation that you did not die on your way to bed last night, okay?</p><p>M.</p><p>  </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:22 PM<br/>Return Receipt - Hello?</strong>
</p><p>This is a Return Receipt for the mail that you sent to: sansa.stark@starkinc.com</p><p>Note: This Return Receipt only acknowledges that the message was displayed on the recipient's computer. There is no guarantee that the recipient has read the message contents.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:25 PM<br/>Re: Return Receipt - Hello?</strong>
</p><p>Still alive. Good. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:13 PM <br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery, </p><p>Please don’t worry. I did not fall, I did not choke in my sleep. I am okay. Or as okay as to be expected. </p><p>In fact I have been trying to give you a reply for hours now. Figured out what to write you, what would be appropriate. Hindered by a headache that is blinding and resistant to any amounts of Ibuprofen; as well as my own embarrassment. </p><p>Thank you for saying that you enjoy this out of control and needy version of myself, that is sweet of you -and I assume not altogether true-; unfortunately I cannot say that I appreciate her a whole lot. </p><p>I don’t even know what to tell you, if to comment at all about the things I wrote you last night. I am at a loss here, Margaery. I am sorry. </p><p>Greetings to the island. (I am in a boat on the shore. Considering if I should step a foot on land.)</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:20 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>Get out of the boat, Sans. And send that embarrassment out to the ocean with it. </p><p>Metaphorical words aside, I am glad you are okay. (Not so glad about your avoidance, but today you get a hangover-bonus.)</p><p>And no, what I said about enjoying our talk last night was true. I enjoyed it a great deal. (It’s not every day you get a girl to masturbate to the sound of your voice.)</p><p>Try to hydrate properly. Plenty of sweet water on this island. </p><p>M.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:22 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>I am so sorry, Margaery. That was so inappropriate. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:23 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>I recall you doing things that were way more inappropriate (to me). </p><p>Relax, Sansa. Please. You were so relaxed last night, try to get only a portion of that back. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:40 PM <br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>Isn’t it telling that you thought of me most enjoyable in this over 300 emails when I was intoxicated and not behaving as myself? I like last night’s Sansa too -to an extent- but she isn’t me, not really. She was me with my brain, with any sense of self-preservation shut off, I can’t be her, Margaery, as much as I want to give you anything you wish for. It’s not that what I said last night isn’t true, but it gives me a sense of vulnerability that makes me want to walk into the sea -non-metaphorically, but literally.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:55 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>In that case I’m glad that you live a good portion away from any (literal) shore.</p><p>Sansa, please relax, and breathe. You are not the first person in the world to send their ex some inappropriate messages when drunk. (If you recall, one of my first emails to you was written under a similar circumstance.) This vulnerability, this embarrassment you are feeling right now that won’t last, it takes a couple of days but the social hangover passes. Once it does I hope you will be able to concentrate on what was at the base of your need to leave control behind in the first place.</p><p>I also disagree with your statement that “last night’s Sansa” wasn’t you. Who are you trying to fool here? She was. I know you well enough to know what you’re hiding under that rigid façade of absolute control.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:20 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>I feel like you are not hearing, Margaery. That version of me that you were so enthralled with last night, may be part of me, but it’s not someone I can be permanently. Not even for you.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:37 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>Did I give you the impression that I need you to be her (this talking in the third person is pissing me off) permanently? I think that would be pretty exhausting for me as well. (And it’s not the woman I fell in love with either.) All I meant was that a hint of vulnerability, sometimes making a fool out of yourself, won’t kill you if you give it a try. Take it from someone who’s upset their entire way of living and working in the past year. It’s not impossible, and small changes can have an immense impact.</p><p>Most important of all, though, don’t try to be anything just for me, or because it’s who you think I want you to be.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:45 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>That’s the thing though, I am comfortable with myself, with the way I am. The parts I do not like, I do not like because you don’t. And I would only ever want them to change for that reason.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:46 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>That sounded different last night.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:50 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>I was drunk.</p><p>And please spare me any “drunk mind, sober heart” talk.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:24 PM <br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>I always found taking people's drunken behaviour as evidence of their true character as a bit too easy. Alcohol does not reveal your character, that’s nonsense. What it does though, is take away your fear of rejection and embarrassment, and your ability to measure the consequences of your actions.</p><p>When you asked me for that voice mail, I knew that it wasn’t because you harbour a secret acousticophilia, but because you were not afraid that I’d reject you.</p><p>It’s such a simple concept Sansa. It’s the same reason why people get emotional when their drunk, or loud, or aggressive.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:30 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>And at what consequence is that supposed to leave me? That I should have a bottle of wine a day?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:35 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>No, Sansa. Please let that not be your consequence. We have enough on our hands with my workaholism, let’s not add alcoholism into the mix if we can avoid it.</p><p>Let’s draw a stop to this conversation today. Your anxiety and your embarrassment is still pulsing too highly still. Get some sleep, and we’ll talk about it tomorrow. (Or something else entirely.)</p><p>Good night,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:40 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>Good night, Margaery.</p><p>And again, thank you. You had every opportunity to make fun of me for last night, and you didn’t. I really appreciate that.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:41 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>You’re so close to getting it.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:42 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>To get what?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:44 PM<br/>Re: Hello?</strong>
</p><p>Tomorrow. Go to sleep.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:20 PM<br/>Late Night Comprehension</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>Your cryptic last message had me re-read our conversation from last night and yesterday five times now, and I think I get it finally. Your replies, your reaction to my drunken musings is my answer, isn’t it? You were sober, and you had every chance to reject me, to make fun of me, but you didn’t. That’s it isn’t it? Me trusting you enough to relent my sense of self-preservation, of making myself vulnerable.</p><p>I think I used to be able to do that with you; I don’t know at which point I forgot how to, but I will make an effort.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:30 PM<br/>Re: Late Night Comprehension</strong>
</p><p>I don’t think you forgot how; you just thought you needed to protect me, when I couldn’t protect myself. And at the time that was good, and necessary. But I am better now (far from good, but better), and in order for this to work I need you to trust me that I can handle also your vulnerable side. I promise you, I can.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:40 AM<br/>Musings</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Margaery,</p><p>I am sorry I missed your answer to my message from last night. The exhaustion of being hungover all day long, and the relief of reaching that conclusion, had me pass out within seconds after I hit send. I hope you weren’t up for too long afterwards.</p><p>Your conclusion from last night is very fitting indeed. I was trying to protect you. Or maybe I was protecting myself. I am not sure you can understand how draining and scary it was for me to see how you go through all of that misery. That sounds deeply selfish doesn’t it? You were the one struggling with depression and here I am telling you how hard that was on me. But it was. I had lost you in those months, little by little, until there was nothing but a shell left of you. And then at last you agreed to go to Arbor, and every time I visited you I could see you getting a little bit better, you came back to being your old self again. And that left me even more terrified than before.</p><p>All the books said it, that getting better was not a linear process, that there would be fall backs, manifestations in other symptoms or struggles… and I was just utterly terrified of losing you again. Every little thing that upset you, terrified me to my core, because I thought I might lose you again, and so I tried to control it, all of it. You made it clear very quickly that I did not need to take care of you anymore, that you would not allow me to control your life… So I guess keeping myself under control, shielding you from my emotions, my fears, my struggles, was all I thought I could do.</p><p>That is also why we stopped fighting in the end. Don’t think that I didn’t care enough to fight with you in those last months, there were countless things you did and said that infuriated me. I know that you were trying for a while to coax a reaction out of me -dare I call it provoking me?- but I couldn’t let you. I thought that one wrong word from me and you’d be back to lying on the couch all day, watching mind numbing program and closing yourself off from me.</p><p>I am not sure if these -very much sober- musings even make sense. But maybe, hopefully, you’ll appreciate this analysis. I think it was good for me to spell these things out.</p><p>I hope you have a good day.</p><p>Greetings from the island (no more boat in which I could leave in sight),</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:10 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>My dear Sansa, thank you so much for this. Thank you for at last sharing this with me.</p><p>I know that what I went through was hard on you. You don’t need to justify feeling bad, just because I felt worse. I have not said it enough, of how much you were my absolute rock back then. And I think… (bear with me here, please) … I think, as much as it hurt you to see me like that, part of you also enjoyed taking care of me? I am not saying that you enjoyed seeing me like this, please don’t understand that wrong, but you did enjoy being able to take care of me, to help me. After I went to Arbor, we both had to learn to do without that. (Maybe that is why they do that initial contact restriction.)</p><p>And when I came back home, I knew you were stepping on egg-shells around me. And for a while, I think I enjoyed that (and needed it) too… but then, the better I became, the more it irritated me. You are right, for a while I did try to provoke you into a reaction. And nothing ever came. My perception was that you had stopped caring, that this imbalance my problems had created, had left you disappointed, maybe even disinterested in me; that you were only still around for a sense of obligation, because you did not want to break up with a woman who’d just returned from a mental health facility.</p><p>Oh Sansa… my dear Sansa… it wasn’t you not trusting me, or needing to be in control; and it wasn’t me getting sick. It was that at some point, we stopped talking about the things that we should have. I don’t know why that happened, and I guess you don’t either. But let’s try to be better at that from now on, shall we?</p><p>(Glad to have you back on our island.)</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:38 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>It makes me glad to hear that my sharing my thoughts was so positively received by you.</p><p>Now, I cannot go without a few comments to what you said, rectifications if you want to call it that.</p><p>Firstly: It was not that I enjoyed taking care of you, no. It was draining, more than I care to share with you. It was good that you went to Arbor when you did, because I do not know how much longer I would have lasted either.</p><p>I was angry at you sometimes then. Being able to take care of you served as a distraction from that. And was a compensation for my bad conscious for being angry. </p><p>For the length of two months, almost every day when I came home after full day in the office and I found you had not moved from where I left you in the morning, and that upset me. Not just because I saw you were miserable, but also because -bear with me here now, because I know this will sound awful- you were not making an effort. I didn't want to think in this way, knew rationally that it was unfair, but the thought was always there. That was a never ending circle for me. I was exhausted and that made me angry, I compensated by doing all within my power for you and ended up with more supressed anger that I had to compensate, which exhausted me further.</p><p>When you came back from Arbor, you had broken through your own vicious cycles, but I was still fully stuck in mine. No, it was not that I was with you out of a sense of obligation, or that I’d lost interest -never that! Only, like I said, I was terrified of losing you again. That it was my attempts to prevent that was what made me lose you in the end… well ironic does not quite cover it, don’t you think? That’s brutal cynicism.</p><p>At last, I agree with you, it was our lack of communication is what lead to our separation. As for the why, well, that is rather clear to me. For one, I did not feel like I could share everything that was on my mind with you, did not want to burden you with it, and Marg, for as vocal as you usually are, you were rather reserved about telling me anything about Arbor, about how you felt. Was that because you felt that it wouldn’t interest me? Or, what did you say in an earlier message? That you were trying to protect me as well? You said you tried to “…to keep this negativity, all this stress from infecting [me] too.” Was that it?</p><p>We do have to try to become better at that. And so far today, I think we are not doing too bad. But I won’t lie, this, writing this, reading your words, it is not exactly a walk in the park. Still looking forward to your answer.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:35 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>I’m a little pressed for time right now, so please forgive me for only answering to the last portion of your last message. This I felt the need to answer now, because I could not let that stand unanswered for over an hour (at least not without it occupying my head for my entire lunch break).</p><p>You are right, I did not speak about Arbor, or how I felt in the time before. (Something by the way my therapists never fails to point out to me. “Did you ever tell Sansa that? Or where you just expecting her to read it off your face?”)</p><p>And you are also right in your prediction that it was (to an extent) me trying to protect you from the darkness, from all the negativity I went through. (Though honestly, speaking about this now… Gods, Sansa you were already right in the middle of all of an all-embracing darkness with me, weren’t you?)</p><p>But at the time, I really thought, keeping all of my experiences at Arbor to myself was for the best. When I came back home, we were almost shy around each other. (My brain is treating me with a lovely flashback of the first time we slept together after I was back. That was just… Gods, do you remember? Awkward does not even begin to cover it.) I guess I thought talking about what I had experienced at a mental health facility would not make exactly pleasant dinner conversation, but taint our togetherness, make it even more awkward.</p><p>At last, maybe we should pace ourselves in working through our past. We can’t (and should not) try to hash out all that went wrong over the course of a year in just one day. I want to keep talking about it, but for today, maybe let’s focus on the presence instead. Tell me something about your day. About Lady. About work. About your family. For good measure of balance, okay?</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:03 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>My day so far was rather uneventful. I have been working from home -like I have the entire past week. Bringing Lady to the office is not quite working yet as I expected. She’s still too excitable for that. We are starting a grooming school next week, and we will give it another try after that. Otherwise, well, what can I say, I am more than just a little in love with my puppy. My mom calls Lady my substitute daughter and she is not entirely wrong. I suppose my days consists of a lot of things that of a new mother would. Housebreaking her, getting her on a feeding schedule, taking her outside for fresh air, playing with her, occupies big parts of my time now.</p><p>Work is more or less unchanged as well. We have finally found a replacement for Baelish. I am still up to my neck in the quality standard review and I am afraid that will keep me busy for a while into next year. Other than that, I can’t complain really -no particular reason for joyful exclamations either- things are going steady. For now, I suppose that is a good thing, but in the next year I will have to look for a new project I think, something to spark my inspiration.</p><p>My family, oh well, what can I say, you know how they are, the whole chaotic bunch. Actually, the chaotic times have reached a new high -although in a joyful way- both Talisa and Ygritte are pregnant. What makes it incredibly amusing for me is that neither of them know of the other, because neither have told anyone yet. In fact, I am not supposed to know yet either -I am hoping I can count on your discretion?- only Robb and Jon both confided in me, independently from one another. So, it looks like we will have way more chaotic times ahead… my mom will undoubtedly be overjoyed with the news, and love to have a full and loud house again.</p><p>Now, what about you? How is your day going? What is for lunch? What have you been up to in this past week? How are the Tyrell-Baratheon’s doing? More importantly, how are you doing?</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>PS: Thank you, for bringing that most unpleasant memory of the most awkward sex we ever had back to my mind.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:08 PM<br/>Curious</strong>
</p><p>Quick remark ahead of my actual answer: Curious, that we both use <em>awkward</em> to describe our first post-Arbor sex, but not bad.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:09 PM<br/>Re: Curious</strong>
</p><p>That’s because it wasn’t bad. It never was with us.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:09 PM<br/>Re: Curious</strong>
</p><p>A fine observation, Ms. Stark.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:09 PM<br/>Re: Curious</strong>
</p><p>Don’t.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:10 PM<br/>Re: Curious</strong>
</p><p>Don’t what?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:11 PM<br/>Re: Curious</strong>
</p><p>You know, what.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:27 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Hello Sansa,</p><p>Reporting back from lunch. I finally go to try this new organic café that opened two blocks away from our office and it does come up to everything I heard about it so far. I had the best tofu poke bowl of my life just now. Absolutely amazing.</p><p>So grandchildren all around for your mom (yes, counting in the furry grandchild you gave her in that), that is amazing news Sansa. Really, happy for you. Though I won’t lie, the idea of a pregnant Ygritte does scare me a little bit; her and mood swings seem to be a nearly dangerous combination (all my best luck to Jon).</p><p>My own families next generation remains the dominating subject in every conversation I have with Loras these days. It’s getting a bit tiresome, but for now I will cut him some slack. It is a new situation for them, and next to exciting, also a rather stressful time in their lives and in their relationship. Other than that Lenna is growing and thriving, absolutely precious and for her two months far too good at manipulating her dads. (That last treat is the one I think I like most about her though.)</p><p>For myself, well, I’m not going to lie, the week in which we didn’t talk wasn’t my best. (I suppose we have that in common.) I kept myself busy and distracted with a good amount of leisure activities. I have been to bio-dance-class twice, took up a course in floral arrangements and have been over at Lora’s and Renly’s almost every other night. Plus I’ve taken it up to re-decorate my dad’s office, so you see… keeping busy, tackling new things all around.</p><p>Work for myself has not been going quite as steady as it has for you. I am struggling a little bit to actually stick to my eight hours a day. We have a new opening in King’s Landing in the making, and to delegate anything I consider of importance is (remains) a challenge for me. Those around me do not always make it easier, I’m hearing comments how one (as in: me) should not be CEO if they are not up to the challenge and able to invest the time. I am doing my best to give words like that not too much weight though. I am striving for a change of attitude for a company that has been running in one particular way for the past forty years. Change does not happen overnight. But I am positive that we will get there.</p><p>Speaking of, I have a staff meeting now that will take over the rest of my afternoon, and my afternoon evening is pre-booked as well, so I am not sure it might be that I will just write you tomorrow. For that case, already wishing you a nice afternoon and evening.</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:49 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Margaery,</p><p>Reading your last message, particular the part about your work, has honestly left me a bit worried. What do you mean exactly when you say “struggling to stick to [your] eight hour day”. Can I understand that as in, you do leave on time, but leave work undone or involuntarily delegated; or as in you are doing overtime on a regular basis?</p><p>I will also say that it infuriated me to hear about those comments? I am actually surprised that you seem to take it rather lightly. Preposterous is what comes to my mind hearing that. You worked yourself to a burnout last year, are back to work way sooner, shouldering a lot more than anyone did -or should- expect of you, and people have nothing more to do than to complain that you go home at four o’clock.</p><p>Do you have someone looking out for you in all of this? I find the thought that you are struggling with all of this by yourself not an easy one.</p><p>I hope that whatever you were up to this evening, was pleasure rather than duty. Wishing you a nice evening.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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    <em>-the next day-</em>
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:03 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>Let me start by thanking you for your concern, and likewise for your infuriation on my behalf. I appreciate it, but I promise you I have things under control. It’s not easy all the time, I have my ups and downs and my struggles, but I am working through them. I am sticking to my eight hours rigidly, I am delegating so much of my duties I have actually days now where I am a little bored.</p><p>And, yes, I do have people looking out for me. My dad is fiercely protective, more than even I saw him capable of, and even though Loras is on parental leave right now, he is looking out for me as well. (Whenever he comes to see me in the office, his first stop is with Talla, to make sure that she’s keeping my calendar from getting too full.) On top of that, I am seeing my therapist once every week, and the woman does wonders in helping me channelling my expectations in myself and setting boundaries.</p><p>Speaking of, I have seen her yesterday evening and by default we came to discuss our conversation here. She called our talk of those past two days a breakthrough. (Let’s clap ourselves on the shoulder for that shall we?) She also send me off with the “homework” of trying to tell you a bit more about Arbor, about my time there. If you want to hear it that is. (“Want” might be the wrong word in that context.) If you feel that it could be beneficial for me to tell you about it.</p><p>That being said, enough about myself for now. How are you today? I hope you had a smooth morning? Any plans for the weekend yet?</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:45 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Hello Margaery,</p><p>It is a relief to hear that you have everything that is going on within your control, a great relief. Apologies if my last message might have crossed some boundaries, I understand that I might have fallen back into old patterns of patronising you. It only occurred to me after sending it that it might have looked like that.</p><p>I am glad you have people looking out for you. At this point I also want to extend the offer that I am here to talk, should you ever want to vent about anything work related. Perhaps a good exercise for myself, in learning to listen, instead of trying to come up with all kinds of solutions on your behalf.</p><p>Yay (?) on our breakthrough? Even if I am not quite sure what to do with said breakthrough. I suppose you telling me about Arbor, would be good next step if your therapist suggested it. You are right, “want” is definitely the term I would use, but I do feel it might be important.</p><p>Nothing exciting to report about my day so far. Again working from home, so Lady remains my main social contact for yet another day, but we have a big family dinner tomorrow night, so no danger of de-socializing for me any time soon. Other than that no major plans, no. Nothing beyond some nice take-out and trying to find a new show to binge.</p><p>How about you? I am guessing you have some exciting leisure activities planned in order to unwind?</p><p>- Sansa</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:01 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>You did not cross any boundaries, no worries there. (It appears sometimes that you apologize in advance to me in every other message.) Perhaps let us try this: Start talking to me under the permanent assumption that whatever you say will not upset or offend me, unless I tell you otherwise.</p><p>Thank you for your offer to listen. I am fairly certain I will come back to it eventually; knowing that in you I have someone who knows how this world runs, will without a doubt be of benefit. Plus, you know me, you know the way my mind works, and you have the best work-life-balance of anyone in a leading position I know.</p><p>As for the story about Arbor, I will postpone telling you about that to the weekend or next week. I need to have a clear mind to sort my thoughts on that, and I need the actual time to sit down and write it all down.</p><p>For the weekend I have less plans than you’d assume. My floral arrangements class tomorrow after that again the bio-dancing. Otherwise nothing major planned. Maybe letting a friend or Loras treat me to dinner. (If I might remind you, we are starting to reach those few weeks of the year where even the Reach is too cold for me to leave the house unless I absolutely have to.)</p><p>M.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:20 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Hello Margaery,</p><p>Duly noted, until further instructions I will do my best to stick away from assumptions. Even though that will be a major challenge for myself.</p><p>I will say that I am a bit relieved that I will be granted a couple of days mental preparation time until you are ready to share Arbor, your feelings, your experiences with me. I will withdraw what I said before. The longer I think about it, the more I realize that I in fact <span class="u">want</span> to hear it. I feel that it was such a major turning point in your life -our life- after all, and I know so very little about it.</p><p>That does sound like a good filled weekend in my book, but then again I guess we have different standards there. I guess I didn’t ever tell you this, but for the first few months after our separation, I absolutely abhorred weekends. After almost three years, I had nothing to do on Saturday / Sunday and that was the strangest concept. It took me a while to get back into my own unwind routine I have now.</p><p>Here is hoping that the cold won’t be too bad for you. Here we have reached temperatures were you would simply not leave the house at all.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:03 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa,</p><p>Thank you for changing your mind on “want”. To hear you say that is a bit of a relief to me, in terms of making it easier to share it with you eventually.</p><p>I do get the detestation for weekends. Friday to Sunday night used to be our time, even when we were already living together. Our own 48 hours of bliss. (Or our time to settle all the frustration that had collected over the week. Either way, this might be the reason why I try to keep somewhat busy on the weekends now still.)</p><p>I am shivering here in my perfectly heated office just thinking about northern winters. I do miss you, dear, and even Winterfell sometimes, but never those temperatures.</p><p>M.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:10 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Now, we had ways to make you appreciate those temperatures, didn’t we?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:10 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Sansa, my, my... You are not day drinking are you?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:11 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>I am not.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:12 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>…just wanted to make sure.</p><p>(And yes, getting me hot when it was freezing I’d count as your special talent.)</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:15 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Do you remember our first New Years?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:16 AM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>You know I do.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:00 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>No follow-up on that last one?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:05 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>I am struggling to find the words.</p><p>And I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to continue.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:05 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Considering I am in a department meeting at this moment, I shouldn’t want you to. But I do.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:06 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>I am not really sure how to… approach this.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:07 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>You are not shy are you? This is hardly the first time we engage in some virtual sexy talk.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:07 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>This is different though.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:10 PM<br/>Re: Musings</strong>
</p><p>Just tell me about New Years, about what you remember.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:49 PM<br/>New Years</strong>
</p><p>I remember… you. In all of it, again and again you.</p><p>I remember that we went to that most boring dinner party with Robb and Talisa. All four us were terribly overdressed for the occasion, but no one as much as you. </p><p>I remember you in your black dress, with the plunging neckline, really inappropriate for a formal dinner party, and less than weather appropriate. But Gods, you looked so beautiful. So sexy. You wore no jewellery except for a simple long silver necklace, that served its purpose as an eye catcher. You wore that entire outfit only for me. Perhaps you never outright said so, but I just knew, even then. You sat there freezing, and got the utter most joy about how I could hardly keep my eyes away from your cleavage, how generally affected your appearance left me. And that was a great deal.</p><p>I remember the way you joked -flirted even- with both Talisa and Robb, and magically turned, what was the most dreary event into a fun night. The drinks were mediocre, the food bland, the music soporific, and yet it we had the best time. We drank too much, and you came a little closer, got a bit more handsy with every glass, with every sip. </p><p>I remember thinking -no, knowing- that every single man in the restaurant that night was jealous of me, because you were mine.</p><p>I remember midnight. I remember standing out in the streets. You were wearing black high heeled boots, and had to hold on to me in order to keep your balance on the snow covered streets. Or so you said. It was freezing even for my perceiving, and you opened both of our coats, slipped your hands beneath mine and pressed yourself against me.</p><p>I remember thinking that your body held an incredibly heat; that maybe there was something to “your blood running warmer” after all.</p><p>I remember that we were kissing by the time the fireworks started.</p><p>I remember your hands in … places when they had ended.  </p><p>I remember that we were back at my place not long after midnight. It took me less than a minute to get the fireplace lit, that was all the time I had my back turned to you… and when I looked back at you, you were in nothing but your panties, the boots and the necklace. You took a step closer and asked me if I thought the necklace was still an eye catcher.</p><p>I remember kissing you, hardly being able to contain myself in my lust for you, wanting to touch, wanting to kiss all of you at once; with so much need, we did not get much further than that spot right there in front of the fireplace.</p><p>I remember you splayed out beneath me, pulling at my dress, tearing it off me while I finally got what you made me want for hours.</p><p>I remember your legs around me, your heels digging into my back; the contrast of the cool leather, compared to the rest of you that was on fire.</p><p>I remember the way your breath hit my skin, how you went back and forth between kissing and biting at my neck, like you couldn’t decide what to do first, what you liked better; how your hands clawed at my hair, my back, everything in reach; like you were falling and needed to have something to hold onto.</p><p>I remember the sounds you made; starting out low and tame. Gods, I was so addicted to every moan, every sigh from you; so turned on; I wanted more.</p><p>I remember how I went faster and faster so you would give up all last remaining control.</p><p>I remember that it took a good deal of work to get you there that night, but when you came… I almost came along with you… you were so beautiful in the light of the fireplace. So absolutely gorgeous.</p><p>I remember thinking about that saying, “the way you spent New Year’s Eve is the way you spent the rest of the year” and I thinking that I would be absolutely fine with that, if time froze in that exact moment.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:15 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Reading this during my meeting was not my brightest moment.</p><p>(I made it through about four paragraphs before I excused myself to my office.)</p><p>If I was astonished before at your way with words in some messages before, call me swept off my feet now. I thought I remembered that night in perfect detail, but reading about it through your eyes was special, was so, so precious.</p><p>Thank you for this, darling.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:20 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Not to be that girl, but are you going to return the favour?</p><p>I would love to her what you remember.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:21 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Would you like me to go on where you left off?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:21 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Yes. Please.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:22 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>The memories I have in mind for you might be a bit more graphic. Is that okay?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:22 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>It is.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:39 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>I remember how you laid on the carpet, waiting for me to touch you. All night you had looked so perfect, so composed, and then you were a perfect picture of indecency, quivering with anticipation, with impatience. You were still a little out of breath from fucking me, and so very excited for me to fuck you.</p><p>Your pretty grey dress was shoved down to your hips, and your chest, those perfect tits, were rising and falling with every breath you took. It was mesmerizing. You had your legs spread, and your skirt was shoved up just enough for me to see how wet fucking me had left you. I drew a finger over the wet spot on your panties and you shivered, moaned in utter frustration when I left it at that.</p><p>You were beyond irritated when I did not turn to your needy pussy right away, and I think you told me so. Complained, pointed out, that you had not made me wait, while I went to kiss your neck, that was already so nicely decorated with my lipstick. I left a mark at your neck that let you were turtle necks for the first two weeks of the new year; and told you that your impatience was hardly my fault.</p><p>I took my sweet time with you, just then, do you remember? I kissed every part of you that I could reach, left countless more marks on your body as I went along. It makes me blush even a little today when I think of just how much time I spent tending to your tits. I sucked at them, bit at your nipples, I squeezed them until you moaned, until I was almost sure you would come just from that. You would have never heard the end of that if you had, darling. So needy for me that all it takes for you is a little bit of playing with your tits, can you imagine?</p><p>You didn’t come; but I think you were pretty close. I had to slap away your hand from trying to touch yourself at least twice. Told you that for every try I would prolong your waiting time, and pinched your nipples for good measure; your back arched, and you threw a bunch of curse words at me. So absolutely frustrated, it was gorgeous.</p><p>And then you seemed so gleeful when I went lower at last, when I drew my tongue over your soaking wet pussy. You really should have known better than thinking I would make it so easy. All I wanted was a taste of you, because your smell was driving me crazy.</p><p>It was your single fortune that the taste of your pussy is so very addictive to me. I had tasted you, and I could not give your thighs the attention I would have normally, didn’t not last as long as I would have liked; your smell was too overwhelming. Not that you were not a trembling, begging mess anyway by the time I got to your pussy. I tried to make you wait then, also, tried to draw it out further, ignored your clit that was begging for my attention, for as long as I could.</p><p>Were you close to tears in that moment? I like to think that you were.</p><p>In the end I barely had to touch your clit, barely managed to close my lips around it and you were exploding beneath me. Oh the sounds you made, Sansa… You were hoarse afterwards, it was so unbelievably sexy.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:55 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Marg, that was… I am at a loss for words that would be appropriate to describe what reading this last message has done to me.</p><p>I have no idea how I will concentrate on any work for the rest of the day.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:56 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>You are working from home aren’t you?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:57 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>I am, yes. Thank the Gods for that.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:58 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Then take a break from work for now. Read the whole thing again, and tend to yourself, to what your body wants.</p><p>(If I recall correctly a well-timed orgasm always did wonders for your productivity.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:59 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>You think I made it through reading that for the first time without touching myself?</p><p>No effect of heightened productivity today I am afraid.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:01 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Then call it a day. It’s Friday.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:03 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>I can’t, I wish I could, but I can’t.</p><p>You know, maybe next time before starting this, consider the time of the day, at least for my sake.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:03 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Me starting this?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:05 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Don’t play innocent Marg, not with me. You started the conversation about the weather, about how cold it was.</p><p>You saying you were cold was our code, perhaps we never outright named it that, but I dare you name one occasion where you complaining about low temperatures did not end with us having sex.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:09 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>I am not sure that I agree with this particular causal chain, darling.</p><p>Fact is that it was always too cold for my liking up North, and fact is that we always ended up having sex, but those are two different lines of cause, to two mere incidental simultaneous events.</p><p>I am willing to take the fall on this one if that’s what you need me to, but I do think the thought about taking our conversation here to sexy topics was on your mind for a while longer than you want to admit.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:10 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>I am not denying that it was on my mind for a while. Are you saying it wasn’t on yours?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:11 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>Of course it was. You know it was.</p><p>It’s <em>you</em>, Sansa. My brain can’t help but go in that direction with you.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:12 PM<br/>Re: New Years</strong>
</p><p>For the record, that is mutual.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:54 PM<br/>Evening Plans</strong>
</p><p>Hello Sansa,</p><p>Apologies for the late reply without prior warning. I had friend in a crisis drop in, in the very moment I wanted to reply to you.</p><p>I hope you did manage to get some work done still for the rest of your day? Mine went mind-numbingly slow. You know that kind of slow that actually leaves you tired? (I guess a certain drop height from my mood after this exciting pre-lunch was to be expected.) I am supposed to go to Loras’ for dinner in an hour, but I am not sure I will still find the energy to get myself off this couch. Though it will be a whole thing if I cancel, because (you know them) they went all hysterical with cooking again. Maybe I will squeeze in a short nap, and then heave myself off this so most comfortable piece of furniture.</p><p>Wishing you a nice evening,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:10 PM<br/>Re: Evening Plans</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>I hope the crisis was nothing too serious, and you could offer some help in fending it off?</p><p>Sorry to hear the rest of your day did not hold all that much excitement. Mine was fine, the rush of productivity did find me sometime after my late lunch. I even managed to finally read through and comment on the new public health guideline we are going to implement. I have been procrastinating that one for weeks now.</p><p>Here is hoping that your nap will actually be refreshing and not leave you all smush-faced and grumpy. Neither Renly, nor Loras will appreciate that, if they went all hysterical in their dinner preparations. I am curious to hear what kind of specialities they came up with for you today. Please do share the experience.</p><p>I will take Lady out for a walk now -she has been sneaking back and forth between myself and the door for a while now- and will see that I pick myself up a sandwich and some snacks along the way. I cannot be bothered for food tonight that requires me to use cutlery or sit at the table.</p><p>To you a nice evening as well.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:34 AM<br/>Still awake?</strong>
</p><p>Hello Sansa,</p><p>Are you still awake?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:58 AM<br/>Re: Still awake?</strong>
</p><p>I suppose I have to take your lack of reply for a no. Pity.</p><p>Well, good night then.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:30 AM<br/>Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Margaery,</p><p>Did I miss my chance to be on the receiving end of some drunk emailing from you last night?</p><p>If so, I am positively heartbroken.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:25 AM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>I can put your mind to rest, I was not drunk, no.</p><p>Hope you have a lovely Saturday,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark     </strong>
  <strong>                        09:27 AM</strong>
  <strong><br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>You weren’t? Now you have me curious. What was the purpose of this cryptic 1am email then?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:35 AM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>I don’t buy for a second that you don’t have that figured out for yourself.</p><p>But I am still too tired for any clever back and forth, so in a nutshell: I was horny.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark  </strong>
  <strong>                           09:48 AM</strong>
  <strong><br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>For clarification, I had that suspicion, but I was by no means sure.</p><p>Either way, I am still a little heartbroken I missed that.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:50 AM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>That’s what you get for being asleep 9pm on a Friday night.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark  </strong>
  <strong>                           09:54 AM</strong>
  <strong><br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>You could still tell me now what was on your mind.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:00 AM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>Sorry, you missed your chance. I’m off to my bio dance class now and afterwards on to the flower arrangements.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:01 AM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>Pity.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:12 AM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>I’d offer you a rain check for tonight, but if memory serves right you have already plans.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:29 AM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>Write me when you get home tonight. And we’ll see what I can do for you.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:29 AM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message </strong>
</p><p>Always so forthcoming. I appreciate that.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:36 AM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>I’d still like to hear about your dinner ordeal, when you get the chance. Was the food as hysterical as usual?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:09 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>It was a whole new level of hysterical cooking. But the food was only the tip of the iceberg. Both Loras and Renly were so desperate to have everything perfect it was exhausting to watch. They are both so high strung it is only a matter of time until one of them is going to snap.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:16 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>You sound worried there.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:16 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>I am worried. No one better than who has been broken by perfectionism to see the warning signs.</p><p>I will watch little Lenna next Friday and Saturday. (So much for my plan to wait until she was out of her screamer phase.) They need some time for themselves.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:20 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>And they agreed to that?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:21 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>Please. As if I am going to discuss that with them. All that will bring on me is a week of panicking in advance. (“Should we go? No, we shouldn’t. But maybe we should.”)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:25 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>I adore it if you use your power of manipulation for a good cause.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:27 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>Tell me that again next week when I am panicking over dirty diapers.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:40 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>Deal.</p><p>On another topic: I need a ruling. Should I make chocolate cupcakes or apple pie for family dinner tonight?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:41 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>Wrong question to ask me right now (PMSing like no tomorrow). My vote is that you should make both.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:42 PM<br/>Re: Last Night’s Message</strong>
</p><p>That’s not exactly helpful.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:28 PM<br/>How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>Good evening Sansa,</p><p>Apologies that I could not been more helpful today, you know how PMS can leave me. I swear if it wasn’t for my two classes today I would have not stopped eating at all. (I finished a three course dinner less than an hour ago, and yet as I am typing this I am stuffing hand after hand of M&amp;Ms into my mouth.)</p><p>What dessert did you land on in the end? Are you already at your mom’s place? (I suppose you are, knowing those dinner times you Starks like to stick to.) Tell me a little about your night if you want to. I really do miss those loud, chaotic Stark family nights.</p><p>I will try now (after! dumping those M&amp;Ms in the trash) to see if I can find a nice getaway place for Loras and Renly.</p><p>Hope you have a nice time with your family,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:45 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>I am still there right now. And I am cutting the apple pie as we speak.</p><p>As you have guessed correctly, we have already finished dinner and are now on to dessert. Robb just came to find me and let me know that they are making the announcement about the baby tonight. And the nervous way in which Jon has been shifting around has me thinking that he and Ygritte might have similar plans. We will see. Otherwise, really more of the same. Edie was crying for about an hour when I didn’t bring Lady with me. Arya and Gendry are fighting about something. Rickon craves attention for -yes, yet again- changing his major in uni. Only Bran remains my rock of sanity in this crazy bunch. Well, and my mom of course. Who was asking about you, by the way.</p><p>Anyway, I hope you were successful with dumping out those M&amp;Ms? Your message reads a little like you are on a sugar high. … Or am I mixing up signals there?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:47 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>You are mixing signals. This is definitely <em>not</em> the sugar high talking.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:55 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>Poor you. I am still occupied here for a while I’m afraid.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:56 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>(Insert sounds of colossal frustration.) I was afraid you would say that.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:59 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>Maybe you should have not shared with me just how much joy you got out of making me wait in sharing your memories yesterday.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:01 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>As if you didn’t know that anyway.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:09 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>Knowing, and hearing you describing it are two profoundly different things; different experiences.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:10 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>As are doing it to you, and being on the receiving end of it.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:15 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>Yes, I suppose so. Patience was never your strong suit when on the receiving end.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:16 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>So how <em>is</em> the evening going? Did they make the big announcement(s) yet?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:30 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>Ygritte just refused the after dinner liquor, and was struggling to explain herself. I am deeply entertained watching this, but they won’t last much longer.  </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:30 PM<br/>Re: How is your evening going?</strong>
</p><p>Let me know how that goes.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:45 PM<br/>Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Tell me what was on your mind last night. What is on your mind right now.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:45 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Aren’t you still with your family?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:45 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Let that be my concern.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:46 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Last night, I was thinking about what you said yesterday. “You think I made it through reading that for the first time without touching myself?” … I wanna know how. Tell me how you touched yourself thinking of me.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:46 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Tell me how you imagine it.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:50 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>I think you went to your bedroom for it. I imagine you on top of the covers, in your complete work attire (because of course you would dress properly, even when working from home). Maybe you slipped out of your skirt, folded it on top of the dresser. But you kept your underwear on, along with your blouse and your pantyhose. Slipped your hand between your legs and tended to your clit only, and most efficiently. I bet you were dripping wet in that moment. You probably re-read my message while you were touching yourself. (Did you have your phone, or did you print it out? I want to believe that you printed it. That would be such a Sansa thing to do.) And one paragraph over and over again, the one about me playing with your tits, that one pushed you over the edge, didn’t it?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:51 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Your imagination is vivid, Marg. Are you sure you need me at all for this? It sounds like you have it covered.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:51 PM  <br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Don’t be a fucking tease.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:58 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Well, let’s see, it was not quite like you have it in your mind.</p><p>For starters, while you are right, that I do dress appropriately even when working from home, I was wearing pants. And I didn’t go to my bedroom. I stayed right there where I was, at my desk. It’s sweet that you think I had the patience to bother with any appropriate preparation, but I did not at all. I almost broke a nail when undoing my pants. I had been so turned on already from remembering, from sharing that with you, from imaging what my words did to you, I couldn’t wait a moment longer. I had my hand inside my panties, after the first paragraph and tried my very best to hold back for as long as I could.</p><p>You are right in your assumption about my favourite passage. You knew what those words would do to me, the moment you put them in. Hence, that is where my other hand went, right into my blouse, underneath my bra.</p><p>Can you imagine it now? How I sat there, legs spread wide, one hand squeezing my breast, the other rubbing fiercely between my legs.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:00 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>My, that is quite the image you painted there. You continue to be full of surprises.</p><p>It is incredible hot to imagine you like that, so turned on by my words, by thinking about me, that you just had to touch yourself, right in that moment.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:00 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Tell me what you are wearing.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:01 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>I am in a strappy top and a pair of panties.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:01 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Are you in bed?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:01 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Yes.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:02 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Tell me what you are doing. Have you been touching yourself?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:02 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>I haven’t yet.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:02 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>What’s stopping you?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:03 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Tell me what you want me to do.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:04 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>I want you to get naked, I want you naked between those white sheets and I want you to touch your breasts. Both at once, squeeze them like you know I would; press your thumb into the peak when you do. And then pinch your nipples; as tightly as you can, a little longer than still pleasant, and then start over, again and again until you can’t take it anymore, until you need more.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:15 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>I need more, darling. My tits are so sensitive now, I would love for you to kiss them, to suck on them.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:20 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>I know you would, Marg. I would too; I’d tease them with my lips, with my tongue, with my teeth. I’d make it my challenge to make you come just from that, and I know I would manage.</p><p>Now… you can touch yourself, touch the rest of your body. Anywhere but between your legs. I want you to take your time. I want you to imagine that it’s me touching you, trying to drive you crazy, by touching you anywhere but there. We had many of those nights, do you remember? My fingers caressing up and down your arms, rubbing over your shoulders. And then I’d massage the back of your neck, and slip lower, tickle along your ribs and down your sides until you were squirming. It’s a shame you can’t kiss yourself, but maybe you can imagine it, the way I’d kiss every inch of you?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:35 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>How long do you want me to keep going with this? (I am close to losing my mind.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:35 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>You still type comprehensively so it can’t be that bad.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:35 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Sansa…</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:37 PM<br/>Re: Tell me </strong>
</p><p>It’s so hot that you are actually waiting for my permission, do you know that? You are by yourself, there is nothing I could do if you would just finish yourself and yet, here you are patiently waiting. That’s the thrill for you though, isn’t it?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:38 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Not patiently. At all.</p><p>Sansa, please…</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:45 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Please what? Use your words. Tell me what you would like to do, what you need.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:45 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Please let me make myself come; let me touch myself. I want to close my eyes, I want to put three fingers in me at once and imagine it’s you fucking me, hard, to take some of the ache away and heighten it all at once.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:46 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Who is needy now, Ms Tyrell?</p><p>But as you are asking so nicely… I want you to start with your clit, just the ghost of a touch, a</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:50 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Sansa?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:58 PM<br/>Re: Tell me</strong>
</p><p>Are you trying to test my patience here?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:15 PM<br/>Sansa?!</strong>
</p><p>If this is a joke, it’s not a very good one.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:34 PM<br/>Are you for real?</strong>
</p><p>You have got to be kidding me.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:46 PM<br/>So Sorry!</strong>
</p><p>Marg, I am so sorry.</p><p>I am typing this hiding out in the bathroom. I had no intention to leave you hanging like that, especially in that particular moment. Not a measure to tease you or to test your patience, I promise.</p><p>I will explain later when I am home. Again, so sorry.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:46 PM<br/>Re: So Sorry! </strong>
</p><p>Is everything okay?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:47 PM<br/>Re: So Sorry!</strong>
</p><p>Nothing bad I promise. Just my family being my family.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:08 AM<br/>Explanation</strong>
</p><p>Hello Margaery,</p><p>I made it home at last. I figured that would be a lot earlier, considering Gendry and Arya were my ride, but after Edie passed out on the couch, they lost any intention to make an early exit.</p><p>Now, about what happened tonight.</p><p>You see, I used my chance to write to you after both Jon and Ygritte and Robb and Talisa had made their announcements and we had moved to the living room. I really thought that all the attention was on the happy parents-to-be, and that no one would mind me, with them mapping out their entire future for their kids. And no one did, at least for a while.</p><p>I will give you a wild guess, who noticed my distraction first. Of course Arya. All the sudden she was right in front of me and asked me why I was still working so late on a Saturday night. It was pure instinct that I hit send just in time before she could see anything. Then Robb got big ears, and wanted to know if there was something he needed to be aware of. And then Rickon chimed in, pointing out that by the smile on my face it was hardly work that was keeping me busy, to which Arya reminded everyone of my principle to use my work phone just for work.</p><p>It took me forever to get them off my case, and I did not dare to even glance at my phone for the rest of the night.</p><p>Again, I am deeply sorry for leaving you hanging like that, especially at this particular moment. I was too smug having this conversation with you while being with my family. Let’s schedule that better for the next time. If you still want there to be a next time.</p><p>I hope that you still had fun, I know that I did.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:35 AM<br/>Profoundly Amused</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>Your retaliation of what caused your sudden disappearance last night has me in absolute stiches. I know how mortified you must have been, but still I cannot stop laughing thinking about you there, being torn from our virtual fantasy island into being interrogated by your family. And that with your mediocre ability to lie… Oh Gods Sansa, how in the world did you get out of that one?</p><p>As for my part, please don’t worry. I was not happy (more like biting my pillow) to have you drop out of our conversation at that point, but you had given me enough … material until then to not have that be a problem. Though it would have been nice to know how you would have finished that last particular thought. Oh well… merely a pleasure deferred. (Yes, I definitely want there to be a next time.)</p><p>I did have a great deal of fun last night as well. Thank you for that,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:04 AM<br/>Re: Profoundly Amused</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Margaery,</p><p>I am relieved to hear you are more amused with this mess I had gotten myself into than upset. I am not quite there yet, and I doubt this will be a funny story I tell at parties any time soon.</p><p>You are right about my inability to lie, so I didn’t even try to in the first place. It was one of those moments were my stubbornness paid off though. I just refused to tell them anything, and it took a good while -you know how they are, especially Arya- but when they got nothing out of me after an hour or so, they got bored and left me alone. I doubt it will be the last of it -again, especially from Arya- but I will cross that bridge when I get to it.</p><p>Out of curiosity, how long did you wait until you, you know… decided not to wait any longer.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:13 AM<br/>Re: Profoundly Amused</strong>
</p><p>Hello Sansa,</p><p>I can vividly imagine that, the way you just sat there, and not react to anyone’s questions. With a family as involved as yours it must have driven them mad.</p><p>Re Arya: If it’s just her you are worried about, you could consider just telling her the truth? (Okay, maybe not the whole truth.) You could tell her that we are in contact. I wouldn’t expect her to be the judgemental type.</p><p>As for your question: I waited. For a good while longer than even you would have expected me to. (And that is all I will say to that.)</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:34 AM<br/>Re: Profoundly Amused</strong>
</p><p>Dear Margaery,</p><p>They are curious as hell, but what worked for me is also that for the majority they have a rather short attention span, and too much stuff going on for themselves. In regards to Arya, that is not true unfortunately. I appreciate your suggestion to tell her the truth; it’s true she is not the judgmental type, but she is the fiercely protective type. It was… I had, a couple of bad days, maybe even weeks, after we broke up. And Arya was the one to pick me back up after that, so I don’t know how she would react to the news of us being in contact again. I’m just fairly certain that it is a discussion that I do not want to have with her right now.</p><p>Your answer leaves me more intrigued than I can say… you were already so desperate at the forced end of our conversation last night, I can’t imagine how frustrated that must have left you to wait even longer. For what it’s worth, I promise to make up for it next time.</p><p>Getting out of bed now, I can hear Lady tapping around in the living room, and I need to take her outside. Remising about the days where I could just sleep in on a Sunday morning.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:35 AM<br/>Question</strong>
</p><p>Can I ask what you mean when you say bad days / weeks?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:57 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>I guess I should have known that question would come. I was … not well. You know how I get when something overwhelms me? How I am when I am stressed? How I get when I lose control of a situation? It was all of that, all at once. I was not eating, I was not sleeping, I was an absolute bitch to everyone around me, pushing everyone away so they wouldn’t see how absolute miserable I was. I am not good with dealing with my emotions and in that time I absolutely sucked at it. Arya was surprisingly patient with me in those days, a lot more than I deserved… and at last, when I did crack like everyone had been waiting for, she was there. Fed me Xanax and a glass of scotch that night when I couldn’t stop crying, and had me put on sick leave for two weeks.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:04 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>I am sorry you went through that Sansa. I thought, when we broke up, I thought that we’d both be better afterwards. I had no idea how hard it affected you.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:08 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>It was the bottling everything up that made it as bad as it got. If I would have been able to deal with my emotions like normal people it wouldn’t have gotten to that point.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:11 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>We all cope in the best way we can, right?</p><p>Sansa, please do not take this the wrong way, but have you ever considered therapy?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:24 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>What, are you saying the one I am getting through your therapist might not be enough?</p><p>Sorry, a bad joke, to compensate for my lack of control here.</p><p>I have considered it, yes. But in the end I always feel that my problems are not significant enough to see a therapist. I know, I have heard it all, that there are not reasons that are worse than others for seeing a therapist. Maybe it just isn’t for me. Maybe I am scared of what could come to the surface if I do. The bottom line is this, I am doing okay, not always great, or perfect, but I suppose that is normal. And I am working on myself still, also without therapy.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:29 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>As long as you think you are coping and feel that you are doing good I won’t push on the topic. </p><p>Therapy has just helped me a lot and still does. I suppose I cannot expect that it would be the same for you or everyone else. My therapist says there is something like being over-treated. Like replacing one addiction with an addiction to therapy, resp. Relying your entire life on it.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:33 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>I can see how that would be an easy pattern to fall into. </p><p>For what it's worth, I do feel us talking here is kind of therapeutic for me. Like you've taken my inner monologue and turned it into a dialogue. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:36 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>I'm glad you think so. It's the same for me.</p><p>So to continue said dialogue: What are you up to this Sunday?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:45 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>Not a whole lot. Now that I have Lady back inside I'll make myself some breakfast and eat it in front of the TV. </p><p>After that my usual beauty program.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:48 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>Breakfast in front of the TV sounds a bit depressing, my dear. </p><p>What do you mean your usual beauty program? I'm aware of no such thing. How can I imagine that?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:52 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>Let me guess, you have already plans for meeting someone for breakfast? Or brunch, yes it must be brunch. </p><p>You made me laugh for a moment there. <em>How do you imagine it?</em> …no I'm kidding.</p><p>I suppose that is a new old routine for me, a revived routine if you like. I'm doing the whole thing really. Facial, shaping my eyebrows, mani/pedi, body peeling. I used to do that every Sunday. Before we were together that was. After that I'd squeeze it in bit by bit during the week, and now that I have a long Sunday with nothing to do to fill the whole ordeal moved back to its former spot. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:04 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>Sorry to disappoint. No brunch today, nor fancy breakfast. (Though still breakfast at the table with my newspaper.)</p><p>I'm baffled, Sansa. I can’t believe I was not aware of this. It is a splendid idea though. I might copy that. (It’s raining today and I really, really do not feel like leaving the house.)</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:04 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>Too cold?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:05 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>As a matter of fact no.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:05 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>Pity.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:08 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>I'd still be interested in picking up where we left off last night, if that's not too direct for you.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:12 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>It's a little straight forward, but I suppose one of the original rules was clear communication.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:14 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>Are there even rules left we haven’t broken yet?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:15 AM<br/>Re: Question</strong>
</p><p>I suppose not.</p><p>So, my dear Ms. Tyrell, is there something in particular you would like to talk us about now?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:16 AM<br/>Our first night</strong>
</p><p>Tell me about the first night we ever spent together. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:16 AM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>Have you discussed this fetish of getting off on memories with your therapist?</p><p>
  
</p><p><strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:20 AM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong> </p><p>I'll be sure to also talk about your need to taunting me about it when I do. (And how that turns me on as well.)</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:50 AM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>Well, let's see. Where to start here. I suppose the moment right before we kissed?</p><p>If memory serves right I had you pinned to the corridor wall, your anger was still coming off you in waves. You were breathing heavily, your whole body tense, first with wanting to run off and then with my proximity, and at last with plain arousal. </p><p>I know I was the one who pushed you against that wall, but in that moment, feeling your body so close to mine for the first time, Marg, I was just as overwhelmed as you were. The thought of doing this had been in my mind so long already. Every time we met. Every time I received an email from you. That afternoon, when I ran into you in the elevator, I had already wanted to go after you, to do this to you. </p><p>I could see what saying my name did to you. I could feel how you pressed your thighs together when I said it. <em>Margaery</em>. Can I kiss you, <em>Margaery</em>?</p><p>I was scared to my core when in that second it took you to answer. I didn’t know if I had survived, if you had said no in that moment. But, no, I think the bigger part of me knew you wouldn’t say no. If only for the way you looked at me, for the way you held onto me. </p><p>And then I got to kiss you at last. With way more urge than appropriate for any first kiss. With way more tongue too. </p><p>I know you don’t believe this, but before that kiss, I had no intention to sleep with you that night. But there was just something about the way you kissed me back, that push and pull we do so well was there from that very moment, wasn’t it? We communicated so, so much better with our hands, with our lips, with our bodies, than we ever could when speaking. </p><p>You kissed me back and in that kiss, was all your frustration with me, all your confusion, and all your lust. It was a bit of a mess, still very uncoordinated, but nevertheless so incredible.</p><p>You were so pliable to my touch, so very receptive. You curved into me with every kiss, with every brush of my fingers, dug your fingers more firmly into me. I touched your breast, not more than a soft squeeze and the way you gasped… I know there was no going back, only needing more, so much more. </p><p>Was it you who started pushing towards your room? Or did I pull you along with me? I don’t remember. I just know that I couldn’t keep my hands off you for even a second, was too afraid that the spell would break, that you’d come to your senses and go back to hating me. I needed you to know what would still come if you didn’t let go. That was all that was on my mind, that I needed you to know, to understand that if you’d let me, I could make you feel things no one had ever made you feel before. </p><p>We were so absolutely inappropriate for still being out in a public space, but I think neither of us cared. You were struggling to open the door, and I told you that I would fuck you right there in the corridor if I had to. And I really would have. I was touching you, had a hand to your panties and could feel how excited just those few moments, those few kisses and touches had left you. I would have shoved those panties aside and had my way with you right there, against the door, pressed you up against it. Just imaging it now… I kind of wish the door had not opened. That would have been delicious. Fucking you from behind, trapping you against the door, holding you against myself with one hand at your chest and the other between your legs. </p><p>But I am losing track… because we did get inside at last, didn’t we? With that new found privacy, with the darkness of the room around us, I was even less prudent than before, more uncurbed. It was like my touch had brought you into complete submission, the way you leaned there against the wall letting me have my way with you in which ever way I wanted. I recall, all but ripping you out of your dress, because I could not find the stupid zipper. I was overwhelmed when you stood there half naked, still so completely ready for whatever was on my mind. Your beauty, your body… I kissed every inch of you that night, didn’t I? Bit, licked and sucked at your skin, at every bit I could reach. I wanted all of you, wanted to have tasted all of you. For all I knew you would be going back to hate me once it was all over, and I could not let the chance go to waste. </p><p>And then, the lower I got, the stronger I could smell you, could tell how much everything I did to you affected you. Gods, that was… you’d defied me every step of the way in our entire collaboration up to that point, to have you then so beyond ready for me… I might have been on my knees, but to me, I knew that you were finally surrendering, and I wanted more of that… so much more. </p><p>I tasted you, closed my lips around you with the one goal to make you come like no one else had before; to make sure you would be coming back for more. I almost immediately knew I had you with that… with the way you bucked into me, with how you pulled at my hair, pushed my face closer between your legs, so I wouldn’t go anywhere. You didn’t trust me completely then, did you? Thought of me as the cold hearted corporate bitch, that might leave you hanging right there.</p><p>It’s no secret that I do love making you wait, with how impatient you can be, it’s become one of my favourite past times, to make you wait… but not that night, I couldn’t have if I wanted to that night. It was a matter of principle, a matter of pride, seeing how fast and how hard I could let you come. </p><p>I’d say I achieved both fairly well, wouldn’t you?</p><p>If I regret one thing about that first night, it’s not being face to face with you when you came. If I could do it again, I would love to be face to face with you in that moment, see the moment just before, where your whole body tensed, and then how you relaxed with that guttural groan. I would have loved to feel your breath on my face, my lips, that sound right at my ear. </p><p>Not that the view I had was not an absolutely gorgeous one too, your chest heaving, your body curving against my lips… feeling you come against my lips... just… not as intimate as would have been appropriate, as it could have been. Should have been. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:41 PM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>No reason to end on such regretful thoughts, my darling. I wouldn’t want our first time to be any other way that it was. Your plan to bind me to yourself with the best orgasm of my life (up until then, we both know the best was yet to come) worked out rather well, wouldn’t you say? The fun thing is I still didn’t like you a whole lot at this point, but I knew I wanted to do that again, and again, and again.</p><p>The first time something beyond lust in what I felt for you worked itself into my conscious was much later into that night, the last time of the night, actually. </p><p>We’d been rolling around in bed for hours, and couldn’t get enough of touching each other, tasting each other, teasing each other, making each other come… making an absolute mess out of the sheets. It was like our own little contest who gave the other the better orgasms, wasn’t it? (You win, by the way. I am good, great even, but nothing beats your stamina, your stubbornness when it comes to proving yourself.) </p><p>I remember how we lay there, completely spent, so deliciously exhausted, the air around as smelled like sex, our bodies were sticky and we’d pulled the sheets over us because it was getting chilly now that we were finally at a rest. I think we weren’t even touching in that moment, just lay next to each other on the bed, and reminiscing both silently. Your breathing had evened out so much, I thought you had fallen asleep, and I when I turned to look at you, you did the same in that very moment, and smiled at me… It wasn’t like any smile I had seen from you before. It was so gentle. There was actually some vulnerability in there, some insecurity that I had not seen for even a second for all those hours prior… You looked almost shy. </p><p>I had to kiss you then. That kiss… that was tender for the first time, you let me take the lead instead of struggling with me for getting the upper hand. </p><p>I had wanted you all night, but in that second for the first time I wanted <em>you</em>. Wanted you to always look at me and smile at me like that, because I felt that was a side that not a lot of people saw about you. </p><p>And then I wanted to know what that suddenly so vulnerable person looked like when she let go completely. I slipped closer, pressed myself into your side and started touching you again. And for once you weren’t focused on touching me back, but you really let yourself fall. </p><p>My poor darling, you were terribly overstimulated at that point already (we both were), I could feel you tremble when I pushed my fingers into you, but that just added to the moment. It wasn’t about making you come anymore, at this point, it was so much slower than before. You were so relaxed just then, not with an orgasm in sight, but actually just enjoying how I got you there so slowly and gently. </p><p>I kept it at that forever, just two fingers slowly pumping in and out of you, my naked body tightly against yours, and we were looking into each other’s eyes the whole time, kissed briefly when the intimacy became overwhelmed us in how little we knew about each other. I will never forget how you looked at me in those seconds whenever your eyes opened again. It was brief (a blink and miss it moment), but I saw it. Your eyes searched for me in the darkness of the room, like you were afraid I’d be gone; and then always that gentle smile that returned right after. </p><p>I drew out the moment to actually let you come. You said before you found it addictive how my body reacted to your touch, and in that seconds it was the very same thing for me. It was not your strongest orgasm of the night I am guessing, but let me tell you, it was your most gorgeous one. </p><p>Your lips opened, and you fought to keep your eyes open for as long as possible, while I worked faster and faster. You’re face was gorgeously flushed and even though I had you screaming before, that little sound that you made then, that gasp, was by far the most sexiest thing I had from you all night. </p><p>… I just re-read what I wrote here… I think I lost track here a good deal? That wasn’t as sexy as I had aimed for it to be. I’ll send it anyway, and I promise to make up with more focused thoughts later on. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:56 PM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>That was as sexy as it gets in my book, Marg. </p><p>Thank you for that.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:57 PM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>You are not being sarcastic, are you?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             12:58 PM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>The way I just came would suggest that I am not. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:59 PM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>Nothing to start your day with than a well-timed orgasm. (Or two, I went for seconds in the main time.)</p><p>That was our favourite Sunday past time. Rolling around in bed together.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:04 PM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>I hated them as much as I loved them. Especially when we were not living together yet. They always passed too fast, and I was feeling anxious by the time I woke up on Sunday, because it meant letting you go again. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:05 PM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>You’d developed some excellent coping strategies though. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:06 PM<br/>Re: Our first night</strong>
</p><p>Want to tell me your favourite?</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:07 PM<br/>Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>Let’s see. </p><p>Well, I loved all occasions where I woke up and you would decide to touch me. No, actually I need to rephrase that. When you woke me up by touching me. That was always great. Whether it was just tickling my side, or kissing me awake, or (and that’s by far the favourite) waking me by going down on me. You also had a way to do it, you were careful that what you’re doing wouldn’t wake me… not until I was almost there. … the most glorious way to start any day, to see you smiling up from between my legs. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:09 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>You were always so pliable when you had just woken. It was glorious too watch as well, how you slowly came to wake, a smile on your face like you were having the most pleasant dream, and then shook into consciousness with an orgasm. </p><p>And the way you always reached for me afterwards, pulled me into your side or on top of you; just the tiniest bit freezing from just waking up, breathing heavily from what I had just done to you. Yes, glorious. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:14 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>You know what I’m thinking of now? I am here on my couch, and you once again made me abandon my breakfast. (That is still untouched on the table.) That happened almost every weekend we spent together. Even when we tried to take breakfast to bed, we didn’t make it further than a few bites before once again we became distracted with one another. (I will admit, sometimes I did spill <em>on you</em> on purpose just so we would be.)</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:15 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>We ruined way too many sheets that way. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:19 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>All for a good cause, darling. </p><p>It’s getting to that time of Sunday afternoon where I am getting anxious. It’s weird, but it still happens, like a reflex. You always took the 4 pm flight, and starting at 1-2 pm, my stomach gets queasy. It’s been a while that we weren’t limited to weekends only, and still I can’t shake it off.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:24 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>I see your Sunday afternoon separation anxiety and raise you the Friday midday excitement. Only these days that is followed by soul crushing disappointment.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:27 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>I can’t go by any nice looking tea in the supermarket. I pick it up, know in the very same moment that I will never drink it, and still buy it and then stack it onto the tea shelf (your tea shelf).</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:30 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>I check the weather report for Highgarden. When I zap through the channels and it is on I just automatically watch it. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:32 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>I sometimes still wake at 6:30 sharp, and reach for my phone to check if your good morning text is there.</p><p>
  
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  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:35 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>Occasionally I buy your favourite newspaper, am annoyed with every article that I am reading and thereafter disappointed because I do not have you there to argue with. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:40 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>There is a debate on tonight about the protests at the coal power plants. Want to watch together? We could virtually argue about it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:43 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>I think there are better things we could do with our time than argue. We’ve been doing so well, I don’t want to ruin that. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:44 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>So we just avoid whatever we disagree on for the rest of our lives? Sounds like a plan.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             01:55 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>Isn’t the rest of our lives a bit ambitious as a goal time wise?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       01:56 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>I don’t know. You tell me.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:01 PM<br/>Re: Coping Strategies</strong>
</p><p>These past four days it hasn’t felt like it, no. More like it would not be enough time. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:10 PM<br/>Consideration</strong>
</p><p>I’m thinking about those six months that we have set ourselves to decide whether or not to meet. That is still so awfully long Sansa. I know that we set this time for a reason, and that we said it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to meet now… I know all that… and still I wake up and go to sleep with the thought of wanting to meet you, wanting to see you again. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:13 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>You were scared of as much as giving me a call the other day. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:16 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>I didn’t say I was not scared still. </p><p>When I didn’t want to call you last week, it was because I knew a drunken conversation would have not led anywhere good, would have made us both feel bad. But now that I see how far we have come since then… I don’t know, maybe that has made me a bit more courageous … no that’s not the right word… hopeful. </p><p>What if we did meet? What would be the worst thing that could happen?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             02:30 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>Is that a serious question? I suppose it is? </p><p>Margaery, I cannot begin to tell you how much I have enjoyed these past few days, but we both know that it’s an illusion, one that wouldn’t stand reality for more than a couple of days. There is still so much baggage between us, a few sexy emails didn’t change that. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:49 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>Clearly they didn’t. </p><p>Like I said, I am fully aware that it’s not a good idea, but if we are being honest, neither is the sex talk we’ve engaged in. Maybe… I don’t know, bear with me here please, what is one more mistake? We just meet once, we see how it goes and afterwards go back to our virtual island. </p><p>Indulge me here, please. Even for just a moment. I miss you, and I am tired of being reasonable. </p><p>Yes, my question was serious. What <em>is </em>the worst that could happen? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:03 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>The worst could be, that we would not want to leave it at one meeting or at -who are we kidding about the purpose of this meeting?- at one night. Once we allow ourselves one exemption, how much easier would it be to another one, and one after that. We’d be right back where we were six months ago, before we even knew it. The circumstances have not changed, not really. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:10 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>I disagree. I think they have. </p><p>For one, now we know what being separated feels like. I know I would do anything in my power to not have us end up there again. Wouldn’t you too?</p><p>Second, I think it is within our power to not have things be exactly the same. We know now what our problems were, we could consciously work on them. Talk about those things that upset us. Go to counselling together. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:17 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>It sounds like you have thought about this a great deal more than I am comfortable with. </p><p>Margaery, what you considering there, it’s more than just a meeting. You are talking about getting back together. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:19 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>That almost reads like an accusation, like I have done something wrong.</p><p>Yes, getting back together has been on my mind. More and more, actually.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:24 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.</p><p>But I feel it’s only fair to tell you that it has not been on my mind. That it’s not up to debate for me.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:30 PM <br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>Good to know. I should have not made assumptions I guess?</p><p>Just tell me this please, Sansa. If getting back together has never been up to debate for you, then what are we doing here? What is this? What is the purpose of this? What were those last couple of days / weeks?!</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:30 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>We said, we would talk about what went wrong. Where we went wrong.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       03:38 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>And then what? Say those six months passed and we do decide to meet (I am wondering right now if you ever had the intention to follow up on that in the first place), how did you see that going down? We have a cup of coffee, maybe we fuck, and after that we shake hands and go our separate ways? Or continue this conversation for another six months afterwards? </p><p>I am asking you again, Sansa, what is the purpose of this? What am I to you? Nothing more than a virtual pen pal who is helping you work through your issues so you’ll be all perfect and fixed up for your next girlfriend? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             03:50 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>Margaery, I feel that you are being unfair here. We talked about this, and you clearly said that you did not want to get back together either. That this was not what this talking together was about. “Finding a way to live without you” wasn’t that what you told me?</p><p>I don’t know how I imagined an eventual meeting, or what to come after. That was the purpose of these six months. To figure that out.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:00 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>The fact that you are quoting me (not the first time by the way) tells me that you go back and re-read the messages I’ve send you. How can you read all the things I wrote you and assume that being your friend, getting over you was all I ever wanted to achieve in talking to you?</p><p>I’ve re-read your emails too, Sansa (several times more than is good for me) and I think I know you well enough to know that talking about getting back together is not as outrageous as you now make it seem. </p><p>What is it, that makes you so reluctant to admit that? Are you scared? Is that it? Do you need me to say it first? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             04:20 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>I would say it, if it was how I felt. But it isn’t. </p><p>I’m sorry if that is not the answer you wanted me to give you. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:25 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>I didn’t take you for a coward, Sansa. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             04:25 PM<br/>Re: Consideration</strong>
</p><p>It seems that this conversation has passed its point of being constructive.</p><p>Let’s talk next week.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-two days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       04:30 PM<br/>Irritated</strong>
</p><p>Dear Sansa, </p><p>Our exchange from this Sunday, has left me irritated like nothing has in a long time. I am so angry that I can barely function, for work, for meeting friends, for anything really. I am angry because I know that you are lying. I am angry because I can’t figure out why you are. I am angry because you didn’t write, because again, it’s me who has to reach out. </p><p>Worst of all I am furious with myself, for letting myself get to that point. For not stopping the conversation turning it in another direction when I had the chance. For not being able to stand not talking to you. For missing you.</p><p>So here I am, about to go on a run, to rid myself of some of this mad anger, hoping you will have given me an answer by the time I am back.</p><p>How are you?</p><p>M.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             04:36 PM<br/>Re: Irritated</strong>
</p><p>Will you rip my head off if I say I missed you?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       05:46 PM<br/>Re: Irritated</strong>
</p><p>No. (Me decapitating you would require for us to meet.)</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             05:48 PM<br/>Re: Irritated</strong>
</p><p>You could always hire a hitman. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:24 PM<br/>Re: Irritated</strong>
</p><p>Arya is the only person I know who might have connections, and I doubt she’d be helping me have her own sister killed. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:26 PM<br/>Re: Irritated</strong>
</p><p>I’d say that is just a question of timing. You’d have to catch her next time she wants to murder me herself. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       06:42 PM<br/>Re: Irritated</strong>
</p><p>Noted. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             06:45 PM<br/>Re: Irritated</strong>
</p><p>Besides being infuriated with me, what have you been up to these days?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:20 PM<br/>Re: Irritated</strong>
</p><p>What would you like to know?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:25 PM<br/>Re: Irritated</strong>
</p><p>Are you being difficult on purpose?</p><p>I don’t know, Margaery. Tell me something about what you have been doing these past four days. How was work? How is your family? What did you have for lunch? How is the weather? Yes, let’s talk about the weather for all I care.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:40 PM<br/>Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>I’m not being difficult on purpose, no. I am just trying to communicate clearly so neither of us ends up misinterpreting anything.</p><p>And here the requested small-talk, coming right up:</p><p>Work: Work has been okay, busy.</p><p>Family: I’ve found a hotel for Loras and Renly. A nice cosy place in Three Towers. Far enough so they can be back easily should they need to, but not so close that they consider just driving back in the middle of the night.</p><p>Food: Yesterday I had lunch at my desk, and today a friend took me out to that new organic café.</p><p>Weather: The weather is how it always is here in wintertime.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:45 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>What if I have some follow-up questions on the small talk?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:46 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>Then ask them. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             07:50 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>Re Work: Anything new you are working on? Still busy with that new opening in Kings Landing?</p><p>Re Family: Did you tell them yet that you are sending them away?</p><p>Re Food: What did you have for lunch? </p><p>Re Weather: Can you specify? Bearable temperatures? Rain? </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:56 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>I’ve been procrastinating mostly at work. Pushing emails from one folder to another, only answering the ones that required a very simple answer. Kings Landing I have left more or less completely in Tarly’s hands. I expect I will come to regret that soon enough.</p><p>No, I have not told them yet that they are going on a forced vacation, nor that they will have to leave the care of their precious spoiled three month old to my unexperienced hands. </p><p>Yesterday I had two bananas and a grapefruit. Today I went for a croissant and a tea. </p><p>You’d consider the temperatures here as bearable, I don’t. And it has been drizzling nonstop. Just enough to mess up any hair-do I leave the house with. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:02 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>Try some focus playlist if you can’t concentrate. That has helped me before. </p><p>So when will you spring this surprise on them? Are you nervous about the babysitting?</p><p>That sounds both rather meagre. I hope your dinners were a bit better at least?</p><p>No umbrella you could take?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:10 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>I’ve tried music for concentration. It only makes it worse. Makes my mind drift faster.</p><p>My plan is to leave work early on Friday, go to their place and tell them to pack. Yes, I am nervous, but a friend offered to help, so I think I will manage.</p><p>In a way that is most unbalanced, yes. I go from 100 calories at lunch to 3000 at dinner. </p><p>You know very well that I don’t like umbrellas. They barely keep you dry and you lose one hand to carrying a wet stick around. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:19 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>How about getting away from the desk then? </p><p>Glad to hear you don’t have to face the struggles of child care by yourself. Fingers crossed Renly and Loras take you up on your offer. </p><p>Because you stick to the wrong kind of umbrellas. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:25 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>How is leaving my desk supposed to do anything for my productivity?</p><p>I won’t give them much of a choice but to take me up on it. I can be excellent at emotional blackmail if I want to. </p><p>I want the ones I can fit in my purse, not a stick that is in the way of everything when I don’t need it. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:30 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>Your brain shuts down when you try to achieve something that is not possible. Do something else. Set up a brainstorming meeting, talk to the staff, arrange a conference call. </p><p>I am aware of that yes. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:33 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>Aware of what? The emotional blackmail or the umbrella?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:35 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>Both. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:39 PM<br/>Re: Small Talk</strong>
</p><p>I am off to bed now.</p><p>Good night, Sansa. </p><p>Maybe tomorrow our small talk can focus on how you have been. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-the next day-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:30 AM<br/>My Week</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Margaery,</p><p>How I have been?</p><p>Busy. Work, my family, Lady, trying to stay sane has kept me busy. </p><p>I've had a few busy days at work. Robb is on vacation this week and that has left me virtually with no time for any procrastinating or pushing emails around. Actually hardly enough time to sit down and write this to you.</p><p>On Monday afternoon I was watching Edie and because the kid is Arya through and through she decided that December would be a good time to learn how to ride a bike. Don’t ask. Just one pro tip, if you ever find yourself in a situation where you teach a four year old how to ride a bike make sure you show her where the breaks are before anything else, or you'll find yourself screeching after her as she’s getting faster and faster and unable to stop.</p><p>So between all that it was manageable to stay sane.</p><p>- Sansa</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:28 AM<br/>Re: My Week</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>Thanks for sharing. The story about Edie learning how to write a bike (in December?! What is wrong with that kid?) had me smile despite myself.</p><p>One more important question: How is the weather?</p><p>M.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:30 AM<br/>Re: My Week</strong>
</p><p>It started snowing yesterday morning and hasn't stopped since. You would hate it. I love it.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:35 AM<br/>Re: My Week</strong>
</p><p>I might surprise you. In a measure of blind and ill-advised sentimentality I've found myself longing for some snow.</p><p>It would be better anyhow than those cold grey days that lack any kind of beauty.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:36 AM<br/>Re: My Week</strong>
</p><p>Are you doing okay, Margaery?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:45 AM<br/>Seriously?</strong>
</p><p>Of course I am not okay. (Are you -<em>you of all people-</em> seriously asking me that question?) I miss you. And I hate that. If this is not going anywhere then I want to be done missing you. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             10:50 AM<br/>Re: Seriously?</strong>
</p><p>I am familiar with that feeling - wanting to be done missing you.</p><p>And the longer I think about it, the clearer it gets that we won’t get there as long as we are in contact.</p><p>I think we should consider if staying in contact is the most healthy. For either of us. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       10:54 AM<br/>Re: Seriously?</strong>
</p><p>You know, what is ironic? I am actually doing better when we are not in contact, and I tell myself that this time I will be consequent. This time I will draw the line. And then you write me, or I write you again and that whole rush of endorphins comes back and I forgot all my intentions. It’s addictive. You are addictive.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:00 AM<br/>Re: Seriously?</strong>
</p><p>That is not a good thing, Margaery.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:03 AM<br/>Re: Seriously?</strong>
</p><p>Don’t you think I know that?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:15 AM<br/>Re: Seriously?</strong>
</p><p>Let’s stop then.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:20 AM<br/>Baffled</strong>
</p><p>How did we get here, Sansa? How did we move from having a breakthrough (or whatever the hell that was), over sharing sexy emails, remembering how happy we once were throughout the whole weekend to this point where we decide it’s best that we do not talk at all?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:39 AM<br/>Re: Baffled</strong>
</p><p>How we ended up separated in the first place. Wrong expectations of one another. Wanting to be the other something that they could not be. Maybe that’s what happened through our entire relationship. </p><p>We used to love this struggle, it used to excite us, and in the end it just left us tired and regretful. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:45 AM<br/>Re: Baffled</strong>
</p><p>What did you (do you?) want me to be? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:48 AM<br/>Re: Baffled</strong>
</p><p>Don’t do this Margaery. This won’t lead anywhere good. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:56 AM<br/>Re: Baffled</strong>
</p><p>We are past that, Sansa. We are already in a place that is anything but good. (Or at least I am.)</p><p>It’s you who wants to draw the line, it’s you who does not want to get back together, so I think it is within my right to request an answer from you. You owe me that much. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:58 AM<br/>Re: Baffled</strong>
</p><p>It’s within your right to request it, but you can’t guilt me into giving you an answer. </p><p>
  
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  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       11:59 AM<br/>Re: Baffled</strong>
</p><p>It wasn’t my intention to guilt you into anything.</p><p>But don’t you think it would be fair to give me an answer? To let me know what it is about me that is so horrible, getting back together is not even a point of discussion for you?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             11:59 AM<br/>Re: Baffled</strong>
</p><p>Fair maybe. But still at my discretion if I want to answer it. And I don’t.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:01 PM<br/>Done</strong>
</p><p>You know what? Fuck you, Sansa.</p><p>I am done. We are done. This conversation is done. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-two days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       02:21 AM<br/>Not done</strong>
</p><p>I don’t want to be done. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       12:21 PM<br/>An Update</strong>
</p><p>Good day Sansa, </p><p>I just came back from a (very long, very charging) session with my therapist. Even she was impressed with the derail our conversation took within the stretch of only one week. </p><p>Furthermore I got chided for not doing my “homework” of sharing with you about Arbor; thankfully she has me released from that for now. But sent me off with a new task. You see, in her opinion, there is actually to something what you said about us having the wrong expectations of one another. (No one is more annoyed about that than I am, but I pay her a lot of money, so I guess I have to believe her.)</p><p>I won’t bore you with any excursions into psychology (even less my own psych), just this: My own (very much selective) perception might be what brought our conversation to this point (repeatedly). I am not saying that your tendency to avoid giving me answers is not advancing this pattern, but at the same time at the time I am asking you these questions I also know that you will not answer them in the way I want / need you to. </p><p>It has to do with my perception of you and us. When you couldn’t be what I needed you to be after Arbor, that disappointed me, made me feel unworthy of your affection, and in a very much vicious cycle I brought this perception into all of our conversations since then. The perception that you don’t want me anymore because of my mental health problems, because I was weak, because I was no longer your equal, I acted like that and you fulfilled my expectations. It’s a little like a self-fulfilling prophecy. </p><p>Where I am going with this whole explanation? Honestly I am not quite sure. I just felt the need to share this with you (therapist approved decision, by the way). </p><p>All my best,</p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-three days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:04 AM<br/>Adventure</strong>
</p><p>Hello Sansa, </p><p>two more days without an answer from you, two not so good days for me. </p><p>For what it is worth, I’ve had some distraction. Yesterday concluded the end of my babysitting adventure. (It really was nothing short of that, an adventure.) Lenna and I did not see eye to eye right away and (I think babies can sense fear) we were off to a bit of a rough start. Her lovely helicopter fathers did not make that any better. They were checking up on us (no, actually on me) on an hourly basis. I drew the line when they asked to do a video call at 2am in the night, wanting to see if she was sleeping properly and not just superficially. </p><p>We negotiated it down to me sending them updates three times a day, and immediate notification should I have any questions or concerns. For the rest I turned my phone off. I was positively surprised that they actually stuck to it and did not home right away. I think (hope) in the end they realised that the time to themselves was good for them.</p><p>Starting Saturday the princess and I also slowly started to adjust. (After I sat out a screaming fit, and simply let her stay in her swing until she calmed down on her own.) She liked my happy playlist, she enjoys when I dance with her to that, and I used the few moments it stopped raining to take her on a long walk, which lulled her to sleep. Turns out, when she is not screaming, she really is most adorable. </p><p>I was shattered after nevertheless and dove head first into a very hot bath. Still have not entirely recovered I am afraid. </p><p>It would make me happy to hear from you. </p><ol>

</ol><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-four days later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       07:44 PM<br/>My Last Email</strong>
</p><p>This will be my last email without a reply. </p><p>Sansa, what you are doing here is brutal. </p><p>We agreed that ghosting each other would not be something that we would do. I can live with you not wanting to talk, but I can’t live with this silence anymore. If I know that there won’t be any more messages from you, then I won’t be happy, but I can deal with that. And move on. But I can’t endure waiting anymore. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-one month later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       08:56 AM<br/>I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>Good morning Sansa,</p><p>Happy new year to you. I hope you had pleasant holidays.</p><p>As you see, being consequent is not working out as well as I hoped. But I have a reason for that, a fairly good one, I’d say.</p><p>Sansa, something has happened. I didn’t plan for it, I didn’t even see it coming, but now it is here and I have to face it. (We both do, to some extent.)</p><p>I’ve met someone. A while ago actually. And last night she told me she wants to be with me, that she is in love with me and has been for a while. I need to… (Gods I can see you getting mad as I am typing this) … I need to know, that this, whatever this was between us, is over. That you have no more interest in me. That you have no interest in getting back together. </p><p>M.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:00 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>You don’t need my permission to date someone, Margaery. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:02 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>I am stunned, Sansa. (Actually shaking a little bit here.) I had given up hope on getting a reply from you.</p><p>Yes, I know that I don’t need your permission. That is not what this is about. What I need, in order to move on, is you out of my mind. For you to tell me that you have no intention to sustain any kind of contact with me in the future.</p><p>And more importantly I need you to stick to it. No drunken messages a month from now, no confessions about missing me in six months. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:20 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>It’s that “friend” you have been mentioning for a while, isn’t it? The one you go to organic cafes with, that takes you bio-dancing, and helps you babysit? I knew something was up, you make it a principal of calling people by their name. </p><p>Does she know about this? Does she know you’re basing the decision on whether or not to be with her on what I say? </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:25 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>Yes, it is her. And yes, she does know about you. She went into this fully aware of how hung-up I am on you. And she asked me to sort it out. That she’d be here in whichever way my decision went. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:30 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>What do you want to hear from me now exactly? That I’m happy for you? That I’m wishing you all the luck in the world?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:36 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>I told you what I want to hear, what I need you to tell me.</p><p>But I can simplify it for you:</p><p>Tell me if you still love me. </p><p>Just this. If you do, then we can figure out the rest, no matter how complicated. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:37 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>Do you still love me?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:39 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>I wish I didn’t (it would make my life a great deal easier if I didn’t) but I do.</p><p>I love you. Still. Again. Always. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:40 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>And how do you feel about your friend?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:41 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>I think I could love her, I think we could work well together. We could be happy. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:42 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>Have you told her that?</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:43 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>I have.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:45 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>She must be crazy about you if that promise of “could” is enough for her. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell                       09:48 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, SANSA?</p><p>You don’t reply to any of my emails for weeks, making me feel worse than you’ve ever made me feel (and that is saying something) and now you are here on your high horse, acting like I did something wrong in letting myself get close to someone, while yet again avoiding to give me an answer.  </p><p>So, one last time, can you give me an answer to my question?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:55 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>I don’t see how that would make a difference. Don’t try to push making a decision on me. If you are considering a relationship with someone else, than that is your answer. As they say, if you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell</strong>
  <strong>                       10:00 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>Love does not work like that. It’s not linear, Sansa, where one stream closes for another one to begin. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark</strong>
  <strong>                             10:00 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>It is for me. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell</strong>
  <strong>                       10:05 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>So that’s your final answer? </p><p>If this is it, then I am gone, Sansa. Once and for all. Then I am done. No regretful message in a couple of days, and no reaction to any regretful musings you might come up with. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark</strong>
  <strong>                             10:20 AM<br/>Re: I need to talk</strong>
</p><p>I guess it is. </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-four months later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:01 PM<br/>Deadline</strong>
</p><p>Today would have been the day we were supposed to meet. I have not been able to think about anything else all day, and the preceding week. </p><p>
  
</p><p><strong>MAILER DAEMON        </strong>            <strong>08:01 AM</strong><br/><strong>Mail delivery failed: returning message to sender</strong> </p><p>This message was created automatically by mail delivery software.</p><p>A message that you sent could not be delivered to one or more of its recipients. This is a permanent error.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-seven months later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Dear Sansa,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I hope this finds you well. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Today I am trying something new and am resorting to more classical ways of communication. I figured that perhaps, some things are better communicated in handwriting as opposed to virtually. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It will please you that my tendency to ramble decreases significantly when I am writing per hand, as opposed to typing. It slows me down, lets me think about the things I want to say, and I suppose that is a good thing, especially in this case. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The most important thing first, because you deserve to hear it from me: Last week I got engaged. I am getting married. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Before you follow your first instinct to rip this piece of paper apart and throw it into the fire, give me a chance to clarify the purpose of writing this. It is not my intention to offer you an explanation, even less a justification, or anything of the sort. You don’t deserve either. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I also do not want to torment you by gushing about my fiancé, by telling you just how wonderful she is. But I cannot leave her unmentioned either. I will however try to keep it at the necessities in what you need to know about her in order to understand the purpose of this letter.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>What you need to know is this: She is the opposite of you in almost every way. She was the first woman I didn’t compare with you, because she is as far from you as anyone could be. And that used to be the thing I liked most about her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But ever since we got engaged, made the decision to spent the rest of our lives together, thoughts of you have been slipping in. I don’t know why that is happening. Maybe because it’s hard not to compare, when I find myself mapping out a future life, that I for so long thought I would be living with you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>With every day passing day, I sit here with this ring on my finger, I think of you more, miss you more and I find myself wishing that it was your ring. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I want to start over, that’s why I am with her… but, despite my best efforts, I cannot shake the feeling a moment longer - she's not you. She is everything I could ask for, she is wonderful -to such an extent that I am the worst person in the world for asking you what I am about to ask you- but her biggest fault remains simply this: She is not you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sansa, </em>
  <em>in one of your last emails you suggested that I was trying to put a decision I should be making on you, and I suppose you could accuse me of doing the same thing now, but Sansa, don’t you see it? This is <span class="u">your</span> decision to make. Not mine. If you can find it in heart to give us another chance, I know what my answer will be and you do too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So now, for the very last time, because even my masochistic heart has its limits: Give me a sign. Anything to show me that you still care for me, that you want me - and I am yours. </em>
  <em>Give me a reason not to go through with it. Give me a reason to not marry her. If you can manage that I promise we will figure the rest out together.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Should you not give me an answer that is fine. It took me another six months in therapy, but at last I understand that you do not owe me an answer, I am not entitled to it. I know that I can be happy with her; maybe even happier than you and I could have been. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Still I hope to hear from you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yours, </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Margaery</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>-sixteen months later-</em>
  </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell<br/>Contracts</strong>
</p><p>Darling,</p><p>I just found the contracts for the travel agency lying on my desk. I cannot reach you on your phone, so I suspect you are already halfway to the mainland. I will be sending them via courier with the next ferry, but so you have something on hand for the meeting, the scans here in attachment.</p><p>(It’s very unlike you to be so scattered, did our goodbye this morning leave you so distracted?)</p><p>Hope you made it over there safely.</p><p>Love,</p><p>M.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             08:36 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>You are a lifesaver. I don’t know what I would do without you.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell</strong>
  <strong>                       09:12 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>You’d be lost, we both know that.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:13 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>Yes. Or, I suppose, I would not be so scattered in the first place, and perhaps manage to leave at an appropriate time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell</strong>
  <strong>                       09:14 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>And where would be the fun in that?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:15 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>Fair point, as per usual.</p><p>Speaking about scattered: Did you remember to give a call to the interior architects office and let them know I am coming?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell</strong>
  <strong>                       09:20 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>Why of course I did. They are expecting you at 1pm sharp.</p><p>In this regard -<em>again</em>-: Do not let them talk you into choosing anything. They can be really forward when trying to make a sale. Just bring back the pattern book. I want final say in those tiles.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:21 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>When did I ever let anyone talk me into anything? Well, besides you. Though I doubt they have your compelling arguments to convince me.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell           </strong>
  <strong>            09:24 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>I hope they don’t. Otherwise it was the last time you are leaving this island by yourself.</p><p>(Can’t wait to have you back here, by the way.)</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:25 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>Is Lady not keeping you proper company?</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell</strong>
  <strong>                       09:26 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>She’s doing her best but I prefer you to cuddle with.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:28 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>Only eight more hours, Marg. I think you can manage.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Margaery Tyrell           </strong>
  <strong>            09:30 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>I will do my very best.</p><p>For what it’s worth, it’s nice to receive emails from you again. We should do that more often, Ms. Stark. Pardon (force of habit), Mrs. Stark.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Sansa Stark                             09:31 AM<br/>Re: Contracts</strong>
</p><p>Agreed. We should visit our virtual island from time to time.</p><p>Alright, I am off to my meeting.</p><p>Talk to you later, Mrs. Tyrell.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A big, big thank you to all of you for sticking with me and the girls through these 602 emails (and one letter). <br/>This is definitely not my last installment in the Corporate AU, but I need to wait until inspirations strikes again. <br/>Feel free to let me know what scenes you would like to see in this universe. </p><p>Now, nothing left for me to do but to beg, to please let me know your thoughts on this. Comments are love, guys!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I would love to hear what you all think!!!! Please, please, please?</p><p>Update with the second part will come later this week. I have some final editing to do (formatting this, was killing me guys, I am not kidding!)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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